Chartsengrafs

Hello there,

Time seems to be flying by this week and I don't seem to have done a great deal.

So today I've decided to think and blog about my goal to "Become a runner".

I use an excellent website called Fetcheveryone, where you can enter every run you do and say how well it went, how tired you were, what shoes you were wearing etc. This is perfect for me as I have a love of graphs and tables. I used to get my graph fix from monitoring my peak flow and Fev-1 score (to determine how my lungs were doing), but then my gadget broke and it didn't seem as fun on an old-fashioned meter. As soon as I started running I was on Microsoft Excel, writing things like, "Distance - 0.91miles, Time - 14 minutes 33" :-)

So, today I had a look at this beautiful graph (above) that very cleverly and usefully charts how much running you have done since the beginning of time. It all began in 2007 with gay abandon (the big red lines) before getting ill over christmas. Then another spurt before a miserable year of pneumonia and aspergillus and pseudomonas. 2009 was plagued with problems at work and an operation on my sinuses, and the result of all these setbacks is a very uneven graph. But I'm rather proud to note that the light blue lines are looking good. I have had my most successful January, February and March, in terms of distance run. But take a look at April. And May. And I guess June is also looking pretty sorry for itself. I'm a logical person but there's a niggling fear that there's a catastrophe just around the corner, readying itself to leap into my life and destroy my lofty ambitions. I know it's ridiculous. 2007 I hadn't started running yet, 2008 I was incredibly ill, and 2009 I had blood coming out of my nose. There is no reason why next month will be bad. No reason at all.

So, today I had a little think about where to go from here to make sure I don't bugger things up. Now Sport Relief is over and the pressure is off, I'm going to have another go at the 8 week 5k plan. I tried it in 2008 but it was just too depressing to have to keep going back to week 1 every time I got ill. As of next month, I will have been infection-free for a whole year, and this seems a perfect time to try again.

The Schedule

• Week 1 Run one min, walk 90 seconds. Repeat eight times. Do three times a week.
• Week 2 Run two mins, walk one min. Repeat seven times. Do three times a week.
• Week 3 Run three mins walk one mins. Repeat six times. Do three times a week.
• Week 4 Run five mins, walk two mins. Repeat four times. Do three times a week.
• Week 5 Run eight mins, walk two mins. Repeat three times. Do three times a week.
• Week 6 Run 12 mins, walk one min. Repeat three times. Do three times a week.
• Week 7 Run 15 mins, walk one min, Run fifteen mins. Do three times a week
• Week 8 Run 30 mins continuously

I'm ignoring week 1, as I think 3 years of running should have just about prepared me for that one. :-)

Today I attempted Run 2/walk 1. I started with 5 minutes of walking to warm up and then I did R2/W1 until I reached the 32 minute mark, when I ran the rest of the way to the 3 mile marker. That's 9 2-min runs and about 4 mins running at the end, with a "sprint" finish. I know that's more than they recommend, but I'm a very slow runner and there's no way I will ever cover 5k in 30 minutes. It was my fastest ever 3 mile at 36 mins 32 secs. And my body doesn't feel like it's going to crumble, which is a good sign after months of pain in my joints.

So a good start I think and hopefully I can repeat this a few more times before moving on to run3/walk1.

In other TYSIC news, I booked tickets to see Quasi this week. I can count the number of gigs I have been to on one hand, as I am a massive ball of anxiety about them. It's mostly the travelling to and from that worries me, but also the density of people that will no doubt have contact with me. Luckily for me, I have the best boyfriend in the world, and on the rare occasions that I simply have to go to a gig, he comes along regardless of how much he hates the band/singer. I've been a massive Quasi fan since I was about 15 and I simply had to go.

So that's 2 gigs in May booked. I also signed up for the MP3 challenge, which (if I'm correct in how this will work) will mean meeting two complete strangers and travelling. There is no way in a million years that I would have ever considered this a month ago.

And on the Ulysses front, I have read the first 3 chapters, but need to re-read chapter 3 about 8 times before I'll be able to write about it on the Ulysses blog.

That was a long post.

Cheerio! Amy. xxx

Everything beautiful is far away: Ulysses

This blog is made especially for my reading of Ulysses so I can keep returning to it to ask questions and ponder.

I have so far read the first two chapters, and was beginning to think, "What was all the fuss about?". But then I reached chapter three and remembered why I found it hard to read last time. :-)

Essentially, my problem is that I'm not well-read enough to understand 95% of the allusions. I know who Iago is and I have a vague understanding of the potato famine (from a TV drama with the McGann brothers that I saw when I was about 7), but otherwise, I'm lost.

Thankfully, my edition of Ulysses (the library's edition to be exact) has explanatory notes, and after a few confused minutes, I now understand how to use them. They include the greek myths (or is it Roman?) that go with the chapter titles, and more usefully, have an explanation for almost every obscure reference. By obscure, I mean obscure to me. I'm sure Stephen Fry wouldn't have a problem. I'm also reading with a dictionary next to me.

So, let's sum up the first two chapters, as I understand them.

Chapter One

We meet Buck Mulligan and Stephen Dedalus, who are living together in Martello Tower. Buck is quite loud and domineering, whereas Stephen seems quiter. Stephen has recently lost his mother, and feels a certain amount of guilt for not praying by her side as she was dying. This isn't helped by Buck. Haines is also staying. He is an Englishman who can speak Irish, which very few Irish people can do. He makes lots of noise at night, which displeases Stephen. They eat breakfast and a lady comes with some milk. Then Buck and Haines go for a swim and Stephen goes to work.

Chapter Two

Stephen is teaching a class of boys about the Pyrrhic victory. I was interested to discover that a "Pyrrhic Victory" is one where the winning side loses so much in the process that it may as well be a defeat. The boys go out to play sport and Stephen goes to get his pay packet from Mr Deasy. It turns out Stephen owes a lot of money. Mr Deasy asks him to try to get a letter published in a newspaper as Stephen knows some editors. Mr Deasy isn't a very pleasant character and wrongly makes statements about Ireland and Jews.

I'm sure I've missed out some central theme that's glaringly obvious. This is in no way a critique of the novel, I'm just hoping that by writing down what I remember, I will understand the book better. I've read the first few lines of chapter three and it's a tricky one because it's a stream of consciousness but hopefully my trusty notes will help.

Huzzah!

Today was an excellent day TYSIC-wise and life-wise.

I made progress in two of my categories.

First up was the Sport Relief 3 miles. The weather was perfect. Blue skies, sunshine and a light breeze. I started to feel incredibly nervous when we got there and saw the route, which looked about 10 miles long. But then 4 of my friends turned up to support me, bearing sponsorship and lots of positive words!

As 1pm approached we (me, my Mum, my sister and my boyfriend) made our way to the start line and tried not to be sick with fear. My Mum and I had decided to run together so we started steady as dozens of people whizzed past. Halfway round the track some people were already stopping to walk but we carried on. We soon latched on to a man with two kids, who seemed to be running at our pace. The original plan was to run a minute, walk a minute, but we felt okay so did loads of running. After the first mile I was feeling tired in my legs but okay. After the second my lungs decided to give me trouble but we kept going. Our tiny pacemakers gave up at 2 miles and left their dad to continue alone! Fortunately, a 7 year old boy appeared and we couldn't let him beat us! We struggled on, doing much more walking on this lap and my lungs were screaming by now. The stewards were great, shouting encouragement, and as we approached the stadium I started my sprint finish, and a small child stopped right in front of me! After dodging her, and tweaking a muscle in the process, I managed my sprint to the end. I received a shiny medal, a bottle of water and a goody bag.

My target was to finish in 40 minutes and I did it in 37 minutes 50 seconds! My boyfriend almost lapped me, at 10 minutes faster, but it was nice seeing him leaving for his last lap as we were just approaching. :-)

I'm pretty chuffed, if a little sore, and even more determined now to enter a 5k parkrun. Ideally, I want to be able to run the whole 5k (regardless of speed) before I enter, but there are two vertical hills so a few walks would be okay.

My only concern is that my lungs still hurt! 8 hours later! I guess the poor things aren't used to running outside.

So, to the next bit of progress...

In my goody bag was a single prune. I've never eaten a prune for obvious reasons. They look horrible. I'm not sure I've ever really eaten a plum (I may have nibbled one) so I had no idea how it would taste. But my boyfriend encouraged me to eat it and I did! Tentatively to begin with, but then I ate the last quarter in one. It tasted okay, but the leathery skin was a bit odd. Apparently 3 prunes is one portion of fruit, so maybe in the future I will attempt to eat more.

To top it all off, it's my boyfriend's birthday so I got to eat cake and chocolates for dinner. :-) I guess I'm still working on the runner's diet.

I'm here today and expected to stay on and on and on, I'm tired, I'm tired.

Hello there!

With 3 days to go until the Sport Relief run, I am ill. Not so ill that I can take time off work, but ill enough that when I drag myself home again all I want to do is sleep. I'm horrendously tired.

Now I've got that disclaimer out of the way (i.e. please don't judge any spelling errors or hideously poor phrasing - it's not my fault, I'm poorly and tired), I'm going to go through my four main goals and see what progress has been made.

Become a "Responsible Adult"

Although I haven't been able to actually do anything for this yet, I have been planning. I've discussed with my Mum how much she can comfortably lend us towards a house and tried to work out how quickly we'll be able to repay her. I have looked on auto trader to see how much cars are and just how ugly I'm willing to go to get a cheap price. I've also found a few websites with tips on how to check second-hand cars are okay and not stolen.

Become a runner

A big part of running for me is keeping my lungs as healthy as possible. I went to the North West Lung Centre on Monday for a check up and got very good news. My lung function has gone up slightly from last time, which means it has been improving for a whole year. I've also managed to avoid chest infections for a whole year, which is amazing when I think of the year before when I was ill about 50% of the time. I'm slightly concerned that I have a chesty cough at the moment but I'll wait and see how it progresses.

This morning I felt knackered but I knew that today was my last opportunity to run before the day of the race (where I'll be running 3 miles). So I put my eenie weenie teenie weenie running top on (that may as well have the words "Look at my fat belly" written across it) and my Asda shorts and I got on the treadmill. This may sound bizarre, but I've discovered that I can run for much longer when I imagine there's someone with me. Over the past few weeks I have found that Rich Fulcher works best. :-) He's very loud and he makes me laugh and it turns out he's an excellent running coach. So I got through 2.5 miles with lots of walking but did manage 5 minutes of running at one point.

Do Things that Scare me

If we count different cheeses as different foods, I have tried 5 new foods since the challenge began - way more than I had planned. This morning I ate a pear. Pears look a bit more rotten and dirty than shiny apples, so I've always been a bit put off by them, but my Mum loves them so I thought they can't be that bad. The texture was odd, a bit like a peach (which freak me out for being so hairy) but the taste wasn't too dissimilar to an apple. I ate most of it anyway, as I was starving after running.

Other than food, I haven't done many scary things. I've been pondering going to a stand-up comedy gig as I've never been to one before. I used to argue (with myself) that it was a bad idea because laughter brings on coughing, which brings on phlegm, which makes people disgusted. But seeing as my lungs have been behaving so well recently, that's very unlikely to happen. And I know that Mark is slightly anxious (but still optimistic) about his shows not selling, so I'm pondering going to see Mark's gig. I'm not sure where I'll be living yet though. I'll look at the dates anyway - that's a start.

Strive to Learn

Well, I've read 3 of the books on my list since the challenge started and technically I've read a non-fiction, but it was Rich Fulcher's "Tiny Acts of Rebellion", which never set out to teach anyone anything. :-) Yesterday, my mammoth copy of Ulysses arrived, and after perusing the explanatory notes, I realised that I don't understand what the hell they're going on about, so I may ignore them. I think I'll do a separate blog for Ulysses, so I can keep commenting on chapters and get help when I'm stuck. It seems funny to be "stuck" on a book at the age of 25. I don't think I've ever been stuck before, not even as a kid.

TV wise, I seem to be fixated on parenting programmes. 'Really' seems to have bought up lots so I tend to turn to channel 267 most days. I've also been watching 'One born every minute', which is harrowing. I'm not planning on giving birth unless adoption fails but I'd like to be there for my sister in the future and hopefully I won't faint or be sick.


So, some progress but could do better. This weekend falls into the running category and the fear category. I have never run 3 miles outside. Apparently it will be raining and windy, and there may well be people I know there. I need to stop being so negative and cheer the hell up. :-)

And in non-TYSIC related news, I put pink streaks in my hair to match my purple dress that I'm wearing for my sister's wedding. Clearly I wash my hair too often because it's fading too quickly and is very unlikely to last until April 1st. I like it though. Even if it does make me look 15.

Big Cheese Challenge results

Okay, so it turns out flooding isn't the best approach for trying to like food. It was probably the least fun few minutes I have had in a long while. This picture is the ridiculously optimistic amount of cheese I had hoped to eat. Cathedral City, Grana Padano and Crumbly Lancashire.

The challenge started off badly because I was all ready for it and then people came home who don't know about my eating problems, let alone the challenge, and they started saying, "Why don't you have it with crackers?" and giving me funny looks. So I had to take my plate upstairs.


So, Cathedral City. I honestly thought this would be okay as I have eaten it melted so many times. I was wrong! Believe it or not, the picture on the left is two bites. Admittedly small, but two bites nonetheless. The taste was atrocious and my anxiety about eating the other two shot up.









My boyfriend kindly recommended that I leave the Grana Padano until last, because it's like parmesan and strong. But looking at this crumbly monstrosity my heart was beating ten to the dozen and my stomach was preparing to throw it back up before it was even in my hand. So, I picked up a small amount and put it in my mouth, and it was horrible, as I expected, but no worse than the last. I managed two small fingerfuls.





So, time for the last one and my boyfriend's advice was making me think this was a bad idea. I got a Penguin (chocolate bar, not animal) ready next to me. I closed my eyes, and took the tiniest nibble (as you can see) and attempted to chew. About 2 seconds later the retching began and that Penguin was unwrapped very quickly.





So, in summary, I ate three cheeses, and I kept them down. It's unlikely that any adjudicator would count the last one as a "big boy bite", but I hadn't realised just how strong it would taste. I'm feeling pretty disappointed as I genuinely thought that I would taste it and realise how silly I had been, but I guess it doesn't work that way. The next step is to do what Ricky Gervais did. He once said in an interview that he started with a tiny bit of cheese on a ritz cracker and built up from there. Probably wiser. I shouldn't be too sad though. This morning I ate a whole bowl of porridge with syrup and I almost enjoyed it, then I finished reading "As I Lay Dying" from my list, and then a few hours later I went for a run outside, which I rarely do, and didn't have any pain at all. I can't expect 25 years of dodgy thoughts about food to just vanish because I want them to and I should be pleased that I'm at least trying to vanquish them.

So there's my pitiful entry for this week's little challenge. :-)

Big Cheese Challenge

Yesterday Mark Watson posted this:

Who can do the best/most spectacular/most difficult/weirdest thing in pursuit of their TYSIC, and post some sort of proof of it (picture, video, emailed copy of prison bail certificate etc), by next Wednesday?

And although I have no delusions that I would ever do the best, most or weirdest anything, I thought I should at least make the effort to do something I wasn't planning on doing. Hence, the Big Cheese Challenge.

I was going to work on cheese next month, but why wait? I was also going to use a gradual exposure approach, but instead I will be going for the flooding method.

Now, eating cheese may not sound difficult, and if I were to tell you that I eat cooked cheese regularly, it may sound even easier. But, as far as I can recall, I have never put a piece of uncooked cheese in my mouth. It's crazy I know, but even the thought of there being a tiny bit of cheese in a sandwich sends shivers down my spine. It's inconvenient and it's embarrassing and it's just stupid.

So, this weekend I shall eat cheese. But not only that, I shall attempt to eat 3 types of cheese (the three we have in the fridge at the moment).
1. Cathedral City Lighter - I eat this melted on toast or in omelettes all of the time so I'm thinking this will be easiest
2. A hard italian cheese - this looks a lot scarier
3. A crumbly cheese - short of goat's cheese, this is terrifying. I won't even eat this melted and disguised.

The idea is to have a "big boy bite" (as heard on The House of Tiny Tearaways" of each, and keep it in my stomach. As for documenting, I guess I'll have to take photos.


In other TYSIC news, I finished reading Graham Greene's The Heart of the Matter. I really enjoyed it and found the main character Scobie very interesting. Wilson was also funny to read about, like a little child acting grown up.
I've made a start on William Faulkner's As I Lay Dying and I have ordered Ulysses (again), which I will be attempting to read for the second time with a little help. :-)

Jumping hurdles

Hello there!

It is ridiculously glorious outside and I'm feeling similar inside. :-)

Last night I had an idea. I watch loads of tv programmes about raising children so I should know every trick in the book to get children to eat. I thought, well maybe it would work for me. So I told myself that dinner last night was going to be a bowl of porridge. If I didn't eat it, I wouldn't get anything else and if I ate it all I could have a chocolate chip brioche.

Admittedly, it was about 20% sugar, and it took a very long time, but I ate the whole bowl! I had a few moments where I had to breathe slowly to stop myself feeling sick and I still haven't got over the texture, but I was pretty chuffed that I ate it all. The plan is to try again at the weekend but with syrup instead of sugar, and if I still don't like it I can officially say I have tried.

Riding high on my achievement, I watched Eddie Izzard running his marathons last night and I was so impressed. This morning I got on my treadmill and did something I've never done before. Usually, I run for a minute, walk for a minute and so on. This gives my faulty lungs time to recover. I have in the past run a whole mile without stopping, but never any more than that. But this morning I had Eddie Izzard in my mind and I decided to just keep going. After a 5 minute warm up walk, I ran a whole mile without stopping (or indeed slowing), walked for 5 minutes to recover, and ran another mile. I was out of breath but it didn't feel out of control and my legs were surprisingly okay. During the last 4 minutes of running, and the 5 minute warm down, I thought I was going to be sick, but I kept going and I was fine. I can't explain how happy this makes me feel. I have this mental block whenever I get to the one minute point and feel that I have to slow to a walk, but I smashed it today and suddenly my desire to run a proper 5k race seems a lot more possible.

I know from experience that the first run after a really great run tends to be terrible so Saturday's run is going to be outside. Outside running is really hard for me and I struggle to regulate my breathing, so there's no way I can compare the two and be disappointed.

So, two successes. But I wasn't quite ready to stop there. I had a phone call to make. And I didn't want to make it. I have a hospital appointment on Monday and I needed to phone ahead to ask the nurses to put some filters aside for my nebuliser. I've had a few bad experiences where nurses have been really rude to me and suggested that I'm a drain on the NHS so last time I didn't even bother ringing and got told off in person for not ordering. But I phoned, and it was fine, and she was nice, and the filters will be waiting for me on Monday. :-)

I am having an excellent day!

Cheerio! Amy. xxx

The Modern Library's 100 Best Novels

Hello there!

This entry is all about the section of my "Strive to Learn" goal that involves reading the Best 100 modern novels. I started working at a library two years ago and decided that it would be a terrible waste not to make the most of the literature surrounding me. The problem was that I didn't really know where to start. The previous summer I had finally got around to reading Nineteen Eighty-Four and Brave New World, and I was hungry for more of the classics. I couldn't bear to read any more "chick lit" and on a more vain level, I wanted to appear cultured and knowledgeable.

So I spent some time perusing the internet and stumbled upon this list. It was perfect! Unlike many of the top 100 lists voted for by the public, it didn't include children's books or Dan Brown, and I hadn't even heard of a lot of them, so I was itching to get started. Perhaps my biggest mistake was starting at number one: Ulysses. A colleague even advised me to read number 3 first but I felt that I should start my new reading era with the best, the number one book. And I failed to read it. I got through about half and then realised that I wasn't enjoying it, and the whole point was to find books that I would love. That little obstacle side-stepped, I devoured some wonderful books, books that I would never have looked twice at had they not been on this list. Even the authors I don't like so much (sorry Henry James) have been an experience, and have enabled me to pinpoint what I enjoy and why.

Most of the novels on this list have left me feeling full. The really good ones have been voraciously feasted upon in one or two sittings and when the story has come to an end, mourned and contemplated. There have been characters so vivid and lovable that I have cried when they have been through hardship and settings described so wonderfully that I have longed to be transported there. I have realised that all I want from a book is characters that I feel I truly know and a writing style that doesn't leave me frustrated and angry or confused. A good story tends to follow from strong characters, and a powerful message will shine through, even to literalists like myself who struggle to read between the lines.

Anyway, below is my list. I have highlighted in red the titles that I have read.

1. ULYSSES by James Joyce
2. THE GREAT GATSBY by F. Scott Fitzgerald
3. A PORTRAIT OF THE ARTIST AS A YOUNG MAN by James Joyce
4. LOLITA by Vladimir Nabokov
5. BRAVE NEW WORLD by Aldous Huxley
6. THE SOUND AND THE FURY by William Faulkner
7. CATCH-22 by Joseph Heller
   
8. DARKNESS AT NOON by Arthur Koestler
9. SONS AND LOVERS by D.H. Lawrence
10. THE GRAPES OF WRATH by John Steinbeck
11. UNDER THE VOLCANO by Malcolm Lowry
12. THE WAY OF ALL FLESH by Samuel Butler
13. 1984 by George Orwell
14. I, CLAUDIUS by Robert Graves
15. TO THE LIGHTHOUSE by Virginia Woolf
16. AN AMERICAN TRAGEDY by Theodore Dreiser
17. THE HEART IS A LONELY HUNTER by Carson McCullers
18. SLAUGHTERHOUSE-FIVE by Kurt Vonnegut
19. INVISIBLE MAN by Ralph Ellison
20. NATIVE SON by Richard Wright
21. HENDERSON THE RAIN KING by Saul Bellow
22. APPOINTMENT IN SAMARRA by John O'Hara
23. U.S.A. (trilogy) by John Dos Passos
24. WINESBURG, OHIO by Sherwood Anderson
25. A PASSAGE TO INDIA by E.M. Forster
26. THE WINGS OF THE DOVE by Henry James
27. THE AMBASSADORS by Henry James
28. TENDER IS THE NIGHT by F. Scott Fitzgerald
29. THE STUDS LONIGAN TRILOGY by James T. Farrell
30. THE GOOD SOLDIER by Ford Madox Ford
31. ANIMAL FARM by George Orwell
32. THE GOLDEN BOWL by Henry James
33. SISTER CARRIE by Theodore Dreiser
34. A HANDFUL OF DUST by Evelyn Waugh
35. AS I LAY DYING by William Faulkner
36. ALL THE KING'S MEN by Robert Penn Warren
37. THE BRIDGE OF SAN LUIS REY by Thornton Wilder
38. HOWARDS END by E.M. Forster
39. GO TELL IT ON THE MOUNTAIN by James Baldwin
40. THE HEART OF THE MATTER by Graham Greene
41. LORD OF THE FLIES by William Golding
42. DELIVERANCE by James Dickey
43. A DANCE TO THE MUSIC OF TIME (series) by Anthony Powell
44. POINT COUNTER POINT by Aldous Huxley
45. THE SUN ALSO RISES by Ernest Hemingway
46. THE SECRET AGENT by Joseph Conrad
47. NOSTROMO by Joseph Conrad
48. THE RAINBOW by D.H. Lawrence
49. WOMEN IN LOVE by D.H. Lawrence
50. TROPIC OF CANCER by Henry Miller
51. THE NAKED AND THE DEAD by Norman Mailer
52. PORTNOY'S COMPLAINT by Philip Roth
53. PALE FIRE by Vladimir Nabokov
54. LIGHT IN AUGUST by William Faulkner
55. ON THE ROAD by Jack Kerouac
56. THE MALTESE FALCON by Dashiell Hammett
57. PARADE'S END by Ford Madox Ford
58. THE AGE OF INNOCENCE by Edith Wharton
59. ZULEIKA DOBSON by Max Beerbohm
60. THE MOVIEGOER by Walker Percy
61. DEATH COMES FOR THE ARCHBISHOP by Willa Cather
62. FROM HERE TO ETERNITY by James Jones
63. THE WAPSHOT CHRONICLES by John Cheever
64. THE CATCHER IN THE RYE by J.D. Salinger
65. A CLOCKWORK ORANGE by Anthony Burgess
66. OF HUMAN BONDAGE by W. Somerset Maugham
67. HEART OF DARKNESS by Joseph Conrad
68. MAIN STREET by Sinclair Lewis
69. THE HOUSE OF MIRTH by Edith Wharton
70. THE ALEXANDRIA QUARTET by Lawrence Durell
71. A HIGH WIND IN JAMAICA by Richard Hughes
72. A HOUSE FOR MR BISWAS by V.S. Naipaul
73. THE DAY OF THE LOCUST by Nathanael West
74. A FAREWELL TO ARMS by Ernest Hemingway
75. SCOOP by Evelyn Waugh
76. THE PRIME OF MISS JEAN BRODIE by Muriel Spark
77. FINNEGANS WAKE by James Joyce
78. KIM by Rudyard Kipling
79. A ROOM WITH A VIEW by E.M. Forster
80. BRIDESHEAD REVISITED by Evelyn Waugh
81. THE ADVENTURES OF AUGIE MARCH by Saul Bellow
82. ANGLE OF REPOSE by Wallace Stegner
83. A BEND IN THE RIVER by V.S. Naipaul
84. THE DEATH OF THE HEART by Elizabeth Bowen
85. LORD JIM by Joseph Conrad
86. RAGTIME by E.L. Doctorow
87. THE OLD WIVES' TALE by Arnold Bennett
88. THE CALL OF THE WILD by Jack London
89. LOVING by Henry Green
90. MIDNIGHT'S CHILDREN by Salman Rushdie
91. TOBACCO ROAD by Erskine Caldwell
92. IRONWEED by William Kennedy
93. THE MAGUS by John Fowles
94. WIDE SARGASSO SEA by Jean Rhys
95. UNDER THE NET by Iris Murdoch
96. SOPHIE'S CHOICE by William Styron
97. THE SHELTERING SKY by Paul Bowles
98. THE POSTMAN ALWAYS RINGS TWICE by James M. Cain
99. THE GINGER MAN by J.P. Donleavy
100. THE MAGNIFICENT AMBERSONS by Booth Tarkington

TYSIC has rekindled my excitement for my list. In fact, it has rekindled my excitement for everything. I sometimes find that people see excitement as a childish emotion. Something that should only be brought out on special occasions, as a guilty pleasure. As an adult, you are allowed to be excited about weddings, births and perhaps holidays. It is seen as silly to be excited about your birthday, or Christmas, or seeing a rabbit hopping along in a field, or receiving a letter from an old friend. You've seen it all before so you should act your age and grimace your way through life. But you haven't seen this Christmas before, or read this letter, or watched this rabbit. Anything can be exciting if you see it that way, and in my experience, living your life in perpetual excitement is far more enjoyable than living it from a distance, with a look of boredom on your face. So what if millions of people can drive? So what if thousands of people have run a marathon, and if hundreds of thousands can play the piano, and if loads of people run businesses? I haven't done any of those things, and perhaps neither have you, so they are new, and they are exciting. And every time one of us achieves one of our little goals, however modest, we can all be excited together, revelling in the wonder that is being alive and being human, thankful that we were lucky enough to be born in a free, developed country, able to connect with and positively influence other lives. So, once again, I'd like to say thank you Mr Watson, and thank you everybody else who is making TYSIC what it is.

Cheerio! Amy. xxx

I ate some porridge

Hello there!

This morning I managed to tick off this month's goal of "Try new food". And I picked a food that would be a huge challenge - porridge. I have been a fussy eater since childhood. My Mum was very laid-back with food and didn't force us to eat anything, which would probably have worked well with some kids, but not me. One christmas, I had a plate of mashed potato.

My big problem (along with many other smaller ones) has always been with sloppy, mushy foods. I used to have Weetabix every day and if I poured slightly too much milk into the bowl and it got mushy, I couldn't eat it. I developed a weird thing where I would always start retching on the last 2 mouthfuls. Rice pudding and porridge are two things that I decided I would never eat.

Until today. Admittedly, it wasn't the success I had hoped for. I only ate one spoonful and had to steel myself in order not to heave it back up. It actually tasted okay but the texture was horrific. I'm thinking I should try it a few more times and maybe my aversion to sloppy food will be overcome.

Afterwards, I sat thinking how bizarre it is that the idea of a comedian I have never met had just led to me doing something I would never have dreamed of doing before. That's a terribly worded sentence, but the message remains! I would have continued through life having never tasted porridge.

So, what to pick for next month? My boyfriend has nominated uncooked cheese. I can eat cheese melted on pizza or toast or within a burrito, but I have never managed a proper bite of what I call "raw cheese". I even gag at cheese that's half melted, so this will be a challenge. But that can wait until April. Before then I have to eat more porridge.

In other TYSIC news, last night I finished reading "Go Tell it on the Mountain" by James Baldwin, which takes the total of "Top 100 Modern Novels" read to 39. At some point I'll put up the list. It was a harrowing tale and brought me close to tears at one point, which I rate highly in a novel. I found John's conversion bizarre though. I felt like his story was just starting and didn't feel satisfied at the end. The characters were strong though.

In unrelated news, I managed to turn my hair orange yesterday. I bought one of those kits that are meant to give subtle light tones to your hair. Instead, I am left with chunks of brassy orangey blonde. I had originally wanted to put pink streaks in but decided on the subtle option, but now I'll have to put the pink in to cover up the mess. I ordered it yesterday, which means I have to work at least one evening with terrible hair, possibly two. Still, it's nowhere near as bad as when I bleached my black hair and got a whole head of orange. :-)

Cheerio! Amy. xxx

Why and What?

Hello there,

So, this is my first blog entry and it marks the beginning of my TYSIC decade. The idea is that by writing down my progress, I will be spurred on to do more.

Why am I doing the TYSIC?

In short, I am lazy. I have always been, and always will be, lazy. That's not to say that I don't work hard. If I want to achieve something, especially something that I enjoy, I will happily work into the night to get something done. However, my default setting is to find the path of least resistance. I am the kind of person who sees no point in making the bed unless you are having visitors, as you will only get back into it the following night. At school, my Maths teacher told us that the best mathematicians were lazy as they were constantly looking for quicker ways to do things, and I was the best in my class at Maths.

So, I am essentially lazy, and like the Taoist philosophers, I like to drift through life, not fight against it. This is fine most of the time. I am happy and content and I have very little stress in my life. However, I have found that the line between being content and being bored is quite narrow. I have experienced times when I suddenly realise I have nothing interesting to do. I have no goals and nothing to work towards. I start longing for plans to make and a little bit of stress in my life.

By taking on the Ten Year Self-Improvement Challenge I can continue to strive for a stress-free happy life, but combine it with small hurdles to jump and mountains to climb. I can enjoy being in my comfort zone all the more by occasionally throwing myself out of it. I can look back in ten year's time at a decade of fun, of improvement and of happiness and know that I did my best to squeeze every last drop of enjoyment out of this life.

In addition to this private, personal journey, I am very much looking forward to sharing in other people's successes as they too push their boundaries to open up their lives to new experiences.

What are my goals?

My initial goals have slightly changed since a few days ago as I felt that I wasn't pushing myself enough and I wanted to incorporate ongoing goals as well as discrete milestones. After a lot of thought, I now have 4 categories.

Become a "Responsible Adult"

Due to saving for a house, my boyfriend and I have been living, rent-free, with his parents for the past few years. This means that at the age of 25, I have never had to arrange direct debits, pay council tax, buy a TV License or even regularly buy the weekly food shop. I am also a non-driver.

Perhaps bizarrely, I have spent my whole life wishing for all of these things and this year we will finally be taking steps towards them. Despite how much I want a house and a car and children, the thought of actually getting any of them is terrifying. Actually walking into an estate agent, sending off for a provisional license or enquiring about adoption are the hurdles I will need to cross.

I can't begin these goals just yet though as my boyfriend is still doing his PhD. I suspect we will know by July where we will be living and then I can begin.

Become a Runner

Since getting asthma at the age of 7, I have always been incredibly bad at anything physical. Running, in particular, became a fear as it often led to wheezing and feeling like I was going to die. On numerous occasions I was made to run at school and ended up nearly vomiting from coughing. Consequently, I came to the conclusion that I would never be a runner.

Who would have thought that getting lung disease would turn things around? At the age of 18 I got very ill. I spent my entire 3 years of uni exhausted, with a high temperature and coughing up foul liquid. At 21 I was diagnosed with Bronchiectasis and began treatment. There's no cure but people have been known to get it under control to the point where they can lead a normal life. One suggestion from a specialist was to take up running. He could have suggested eating live mice and I probably would have had a better reaction. I was convinced that I could not run, but it turns out there's a way.

So, in 2007 I went outside at about 6am so as not to be seen and I ran for about 10 seconds before I stopped, gasping, coughing and spluttering. A month later and I could run for a minute at a time. I slowly improved but then I got a chest infection, which took me right back to the start. That's basically what has happened since. I get better and better and then I get ill. Or I get injured. Or I get lazy.

I can't do anything about the chest infections. If I get ill, I get ill. But I can do something about the other injuries and the mental barriers. In becoming "a runner" my goal is to learn to listen to my body so that I don't overdo it and to accept my limitations so that I can enjoy myself. When I have set-backs I want to pick myself back up straight away and continue. And eventually, my ultimate goals are to run races. Initially a 5k and then later a 10k.

Do Things That Scare Me

I am a very anxious person. I'm not afraid of the dark, or heights, or water, or spiders, or rollercoasters. But my heart races when I have to go clothes shopping. And I haven't been to a dentist in 7 years. And I have to psyche myself up to phone somebody. It's annoying and I know that no matter how often I force myself to do things, they don't get any less stressful. But my goal is to accept that they are scary and still do them.

Here are some things that I aim to do this decade:

Register with a dentist as soon as I know where I'm going to be living,
Try a new food at least once a month,
Travel abroad,
If I see a gig I want to go to, buy tickets and worry later.

I don't want to fill my life with anxiety-inducing things but I know I can cope with occasional bursts of terror and some of those scary things will bring me pleasure. I refused to eat risotto for years because it looked mushy and now it is my favourite food.

Strive to Learn

This is the goal I am most looking forward to as learning is my favourite thing. By having it as a goal, it means I won't sit on my laurels, waiting for things to come to me. Here are some things I want to do:

Complete the task of reading the top 100 modern novels (at least one book a month),
Learn how to ride a bike,
Read at least one non-fiction book a month, and pick books I wouldn't normally look at,
Learn woodwork (join a class),
Learn DIY (when I get my house),
Get a sewing machine and learn how to make things,
Try to watch TV programmes that I wouldn't normally watch.

The practical things are the things I am most looking forward to as I am spectacularly bad at them. At school I was very good at the academic subjects but atrociously bad at making things. A goal I have held for a long time has been to be a Jack of all Trades. I want to be quite good at lots of things.

Cheerio! Amy. xxx