Knitting

Hello there!

I've had a computer aversion for a few weeks now so no blogging and little of anything else technological. But my TYSIC to learn new skills has been going spiffingly.

After the disappointment of not being able to do the woodwork course I turned to knitting. I learnt how to do a basic knit (which I now know is Garter Stitch) a few years ago but did very little with it. A few weeks ago a took a big book out from the library and set about learning some new knitting skills.

First up was purling, which meant I could do stocking stitch, ribbed stitch and seed stitch. I was eager to actually make something with my new skills so I found the quickest project in another knitting book and created these:
They're baby socks in case you can't tell. A very simple pattern but I felt a little bit proud when they were finished. Although the book's "These can be made in an evening" was a little out, unless an evening lasts 7 hours.

So, I'd done some decreasing and I was feeling confident. Then came my first mistake. I decided to knit myself a hat for the winter but as I couldn't see a pattern I liked that I could do on 2 normal needles (as opposed to a circular needle) I made up my own pattern. I guessed the width correctly but when it came to how tall the hat should be, I consulted another pattern and evidently read the instructions wrong, as I ended up with a hat about an inch too short.
The wool, by the way, was just £1.40 for a 100g ball from the charity shop for the pink and purple, and the white was also a charity shop find at 60p for a bag of oddments. I've barely dented the balls of wool so it's not much of a loss financially but a great one temporally. I have had a cunning plan though. If I knit some more double ribbed stitch and make it longer than the ribbed stitch that's already there, I can darn it on the bottom and turn it up, covering the join. I'm not a huge fan of hats that are turned up at the bottom but it would save the hat from sitting in a cupboard for the rest of its life.

So, feeling slightly disappointed in my own foolishness, I turned back to the book to learn some new skills. First up was slipped stitch. I made a sample of a few different types:

You can't see the whole thing but the top ends up with an elongated stocking stitch and the bit at the bottom is a honeycomb. The bit you can't see is a more exaggerated honeycomb.

Next up was tubular knitting. I spent a good 20 minutes trying to work out the instructions for a new Cast On, and couldn't work it out, so went for a normal one. The result is a tube, although with a closed bottom because I used the normal cast on. Mine reminded me of a little handbag so I put a strap on it. :-)
I put a row counter inside.

And finally, after my little successes, I decided to christen my set of double knitting needles, usually used for sock making. I had watched a video about how to do it and it looked hard so I expected little. It was very difficult but not a disaster.

I made the mistake of purling, which you don't have to do with circular knitting and at first I kept inadvertently adding stitches, but I'm quite looking forward to having another go in the future.

So a very positive week for my learning new things TYSIC.

In other news, I went to the dentist and everything was fine despite 7 years of neglect, the insurance is sorted for the crashed car and last night my boyfriend and I spent some time really looking at properties and deciding what we want. He will be getting his first paycheck at the end of October so in November we will be badgering the bank for a mortgage and then I'll have a look at what there is to offer. It's really weird to think that if things go according to plan, we could own a house by January.

Summer here kids

Hello there!

I've been very lax on the blogging front of late due to being busy. A curious phenomenon largely unexperienced in my life.

So, how is TYSIC going?

My favourite bit at the moment is my challenge to read the top 100 novels as voted for by the Modern Library. I spent a huge chunk of my life reading Ulysses so it's incredibly nice to be able to read something else. I went for Appointment in Samarra by John O'Hara - number 22 on the list. It was made nicer by the fact that it was a lovely old edition from The Modern Library themselves, due to borrowing it from John Rylands. Not so lovely was the fact that in the preface the author gives away the ending of the book. So it took away the surprise somewhat. I liked the straightforward style of writing but I'm not sure I really took to any of the characters or really enjoyed the story. I read it very quickly though so it can't have been bad.

Next up is the USA trilogy by John Dos Passos. Another John Rylands copy as we don't have it in at work and another Modern Library edition. I've read the first 50 pages so far and I'm loving it. I would like to spend the next few days doing nothing but read but I have a PhD thesis to proofread (for my boyfriend - I haven't been sneakily doing a PhD without telling anyone) and probably lots of other things that I have put to the back of my mind.

In other exciting TYSIC news, Go Ape is booked! It's one of those things that I would never be doing if it weren't for TYSIC and especially if it weren't for Emily, who very kindly said she'd come with me. I'm very rarely in dangerous situations so it'll be interesting to see how I react to very tall platforms and long zipwires.

The hot weather is not helping my running goal. I can't summon up the energy to run at all. The only running I have done recently is within the library when I'm looking for reserved books as I'm trying to cut down on paper. My short term memory is terrible so I have to keep running back to see the titles. I did walk into the village this morning though and I went on a long walk last week. I'm getting decidedly tubby though, which isn't good.

I tried some melon this week. I have tried melon before, but not properly (more a lick than a bite). It was vile. How anyone can eat that stuff is beyond me. I think I might be getting slightly better at trying new food. I had a dream where the most grotesque meal in the world was served to me at a restaurant but I didn't want to offend anyone so I ate it.

My biggest obstacle this week is going to be phoning the NHS dentist people and finding out why I haven't had a call. The phone call itself makes me anxious but it's 10 times worse because of my fear of dentists. My gums seem to be getting worse though and I really need to find out what I can do about it (I brush regularly, use mouthwash and even sometimes bother to floss but to no avail). The worst case scenario is that the person on the phone is horrible to me and says I need to be more patient. Alternatively, there might be an appointment for the next day, which seems even worse but logically isn't.

In other scary news, I have sent out posters for the library quiz night that I'm organising at work. I've invited hundreds of people and so far I have only 5 definites. Either nobody is coming or they just haven't bothered to let me know. I'm trying not to get anxious until nearer the time.

I think that's everything on the TYSIC front. I haven't had to be a responsible adult much recently, although I think the quiz thing probably fits in there because that's how I imagine proper adults - organising things at work.

Cheerio! Amy. xxx

Operation cheer up

The process of beginning to enjoy things more has certainly begun, with a few blips along the way. Yesterday, my boyfriend and I set off, with nothing but 8 pages of google maps and some packed lunches between us. Oh, and a car. And a camera. We set off for Alderley Edge, known by most as the posh place where the rich footballers live, but known by me as a place with beautiful walks and impressive sandstone scenery. I've never been before as it has always seemed a little too far away, but even adding in time to take the wrong exit at one of the many roundabouts (which incidentally turned out to be the right exit) we arrived within about 30 minutes.
I had found a 3.5 mile walk on a website, which took in all of the mythical sites in Windmill Wood, including a few that a previous owner added for fun, such as the "Druid's circle". Perhaps the most exciting thing about these woods is the predominance of caves. Most are smallish and apparently some were used as houses for the miners but the one pictured was just too exciting for me. :-) I walked in expecting it to end, but it didn't! Annoyingly, I didn't have a torch so I tried taking lots of photos with the flash, which thankfully showed that I wasn't walking through a graveyard of lost animals, but wasn't sufficient to lead me too deep. What I found wonderful was that there were no signs warning you not to go in but evidently, this thing went on and on. And it wasn't full of empty beer cans and graffiti like most caves I have been in. The other spectacular thing was the landscape at various points in the walk. You come out from this picture perfect woodland to find a cascade of sandstone rocks.
It all seemed a little dangerous, with no handrail on areas that reminded me of the episode of Ben Fogle's Extreme Dreams where rubble was threatening to knock them all to their deaths, but that just added to the enjoyment.

We got lost a few times, on one occasion going so far off the route that we were no longer on the map, but knowing that the wood isn't vast, we couldn't have gone far wrong. The downside of going half a mile down a steep set of steps in the wrong direction is that you then have to ascend those same steps to get back. A few months ago, this would have been a doddle, but I have become somewhat out of shape of late, and I was gasping the whole way. So, we finally got back to see a lovely vista of Cheshire, but sadly it was marred by a poor girl who had lost her poodle and was frantically searching for it. I hope she found him in one piece.
Having completed the route and successfully found our way back to the car, which surprisingly (to my boyfriend) had not been broken into for our sandwiches by the people of 'The Edge', we began the next part of our exciting day. We were off to Jodrell Bank!

As the iconic sight of the Lovell Telescope came into view, my heart skipped a beat. It was even more beautiful than it had seemed on TV and in pictures. But there was more excitement to come as I realised that the facility looked like a proper research facility despite doubling up as a tourist destination. We paid the meagre £2 each to enter the site and parked our little car all on its own, in the middle of the car park.

We ate our lunches in the sunshine and made our way over to this impossibly beautiful hunk of steel. I know very little about astronomy, and although I had a little telescope as a child, I wouldn't say I had any particular interest in it. But aesthetically, the Lovell Telescope, previously the MK I, just blew me away. I wanted one of my own to adore forever.


I have lots of pictures but I will spare you the majority. :-) As you walk around the telescope there are boards with information about how it came to exist. Originally, the site had this pitiful looking thing in a wooden shack. Then Lovell realised he would need something much bigger and they got to work. It was almost a disaster as it went over budget by hundreds of thousands of pounds, but thankfully it was saved when people realised how awesome it was at detecting things in our skies. Since then it has had an entirely new dome, built over the top of the old one, which is much more efficient. It also has massive drain pipes as it collects a hell of a lot of water when it rains. If it snows, they have to tip it up. :-)

Next we went to the whispering dishes, which I was amazed by. It's basically two large dishes facing each other but quite a way apart. You can whisper incredibly quietly into one of them, and your friend at the other dish can hear you. I would love one of these in my own garden one day. I don't think it would ever stop being fun. Unfortunately, one family didn't quite get the concept (despite the instructions, which were one line long) and kept shouting at the tops of their voices so the entire county of Cheshire could hear them. It wouldn't have been quite so bad had they said something slightly more interesting but hearing "Shut up" echoing round the peaceful grounds wasn't very pleasant.

We got a little thirsty so went to buy a drink. £1.70. Yes, that's right, £1.70 for diet coke. To be fair, it only cost £2 to get in and they must make their money somehow.

Next up was the 3D cinema, which would have been infinitely better had the guide not talked all over it. We had to sit for about 20 minutes before it even started, listening to his views on why Pluto was correctly demoted from planet status. I could have coped with a dry discussion but he kept making horrendously bad jokes and making funny noises like a stereotypical scientist, and it was just uncomfortable. Then just as I sat back and started soaking up the universe as it whizzed towards me in all its 3D glory, his nasal voice piped up, louder than the film, making wise cracks. For example, when they described Mercury he said, "You wouldn't want to go on holiday there!" Followed by a guffaw. Even more weirdly, he went round to people asking their names (bearing in mind the film is only 16 minutes long, his interjections took up the majority of that time) and then made comments like, "I'm sure Janet will be interested to hear..." He even mocked the narrator for being Australian, and despite total silence from the audience, he wasn't deterred.

Anyway, technology over, we headed for the arboretum. It was boiling hot by now so we didn't spend as long as we would have liked as we didn't take any suncream. It was beautiful and full of trees with descriptions of where they are from and what you might do with them. There were also a few lakes and a bird hide. In addition to the wildlife, throughout the site was a scale model of the solar system, including Pluto and Eris. To scale in the sense of distance that is, not size. Right in the very corner of the arboretum was a big ball that stood for Eris.


So, we made our way back to our furnace-hot car feeling very happy. A very successful, wonderful day. We even managed to get home with only one wrong turn, which I cleverly navigated with a detour.

Britain is full of wonderful places that you might never think to go to, but I think it's well worth it. Especially the smaller cheaper ones that get fewer visitors. I haven't decided where to travel to next, but I am looking forward to it. :-)

Hanging around in the lost and found

I've been unable to look at a computer much recently due to sinusitis headaches, and in this time I seem to have drifted somewhat from where I want to be. So this blog is me re-focussing. It might take a few days though, depending on how bad my headache gets (it's just one long headache now that gets worse sometimes).

My running goal
I think 2 months have now passed since I last ran for any length of time. This doesn't particularly worry me as the positive consequence is that my horrendous joint pain has gone away. What does concern me is that my activity levels have pretty much dropped to zero. Aside from essential walking, like getting to work and to the chemist, I have done precisely nothing. For some reason, the thought of leaving the house triggers a reaction of exhaustion. On a logical level, I know that this is bad. Not doing any exercise tends to lead to yet more lethargy and the longer I live like this, the worse it will get. What I need is to rediscover my love of the outdoors. One of the things that most excited me about getting a car was the thought that we could walk in new places. We're lucky enough to have a really nice round trip just 2 minutes away, but it's always an option of which way round and it gets boring.

The solution, I feel, is to force myself out a few times and hopefully the desire will return. Another option that I've been looking at is becoming a volunteer for a Cerebral Palsy group. They meet on a Thursday morning (my day off) and take a group of disabled adults on a walk. This would mean I would have to do it every week (or however often the walks are) in all weathers and I would be helping people who otherwise wouldn't have the opportunity. My concern is that I have zero experience of CP and on a more practical level, I would have to buy walking shoes (it said so in the advert). Making decisions like this scare me and bring out my inner pessimist. Pretty much my first thought was, "What if I'm ill and can't make it one week? What if I don't like it and then feel obliged to continue? What if I'm not even fit enough to manage the walk?"

We'll see anyway. I do feel like I do nothing to help anyone but myself. I am naturally quite a selfish person but that doesn't mean I have to act that way all of the time.

My Striving to Learn goal

This has been greatly helped recently by lots of excellent TV. I've always loved TV for its ability to force information into me that I otherwise would never have learned. Stephen Fry's documentary about Wagner is a prime example. I know nothing about classical music or opera, or indeed Wagner. Or to be more precise, I knew nothing. Now I know a little. And as a tiny consequence, when I was flipping through channels later in the week and came upon the Marriage of Figaro, I didn't immediately flip past. Admittedly, I didn't watch the whole thing, but that was more to do with the fact that I had missed half of it and felt it deserved more. I did watch for a while though and really enjoyed it. I'm also loving the sudden rush of Science programmes on the BBC. Everyone knows the name Newton, but I had no idea he was such an arse, or that his Principia may never have been published if it weren't for Halley (the guy with the comet). And who knew that Christopher Wren once cut out a dog's spleen or that Boyle killed a bird in a vacuum? I really do love learning things, even if I forget them the next day. Which reminds me, my penpal has been revising high school maths and he mentioned multiplying and dividing fractions. I realised that I have forgotten how to do it. I remember subtracting and adding but have no idea how to multiply. So that's something to do this week. As for new skills in the further future, I'm getting a little anxious. It seems that every year the beginners woodwork course is on a Monday night. I work one Monday night every 3 weeks, which means I would either have to miss a third of the course, book as many of those nights off as possible, or try to convince a colleague to swap a Monday with a Wednesday. The first option is crap, the second impossible and the third highly unlikely. I suppose I shouldn't worry until I know when the course is (please be on a Thursday).

Plans for this week

In order to get myself a bit more sorted, today I will tidy my room. It isn't atrociously messy, but it's getting there, and I do find that a tidy room helps towards a tidy mind. Tomorrow, my boyfriend is driving me to Jodrell Bank and if we have time, we can go for a wander in Alderley Edge too. It will get me out of the house and I get to see a 3D film. Hopefully all the kids on half term won't have the same idea. Then on Thursday the plan is just to get on the treadmill and see what happens. My lungs have been awful recently and it can't just be coincidence that I haven't done any exercise. And then back to work on Friday where I will hopefully come to a decision as to when to hold my inter-library quiz. We never meet socially with other libraries and I thought it would be fun. My usual outlook would be that someone else would be better at planning it than me and probably nobody will come, but actually, I'm pretty good at planning things and if only 5 people come, I haven't lost anything.

Conchord review

It was unbelievably amazing. Well, they were. The crowd, especially around where we were sitting, were very sedate and some people barely chuckled throughout. And something I really can't get my head around is why you would spend £35 on a ticket and then miss loads of the show because you can't last 2 hours without beer. I wouldn't mind if they were on the end of the row but making 10 people stand up and blocking the view of everyone behind during some of my favourite songs is out of order.

So, my anxiety about getting pissed off by the crowd wasn't really warranted. The standing up got on my wick but other than that everyone was very respectful and nice. There was an abundance of checked shirts (including Bret and Jemaine), which is generally a sign that people are well-behaved.

My anxiety about being late was also unwarranted as I got there pretty early and got to sit in the sunshine and peruse the new university buildings that have popped up since I was there. I also enjoyed the trip to the museum and the food at the pub was lovely and very cheap. I ordered a massive cake and had to give half to my boyfriend.

When we arrived there was a queue all the way down the road, but we only had to wait 5 minutes. The bouncers were only checking the girls' bags (still haven't worked that one out) so I gave mine to my boyfriend. There was a bit of a crush around the merchandise table so I decided not to buy anything, which I will no doubt regret in a few weeks time but it's only stuff. I was amazed at the number of men in the audience. The on-line forums are almost exclusively ladies but I'd say around 70% of the audience (that I could see at least) were male.

Eugene Mirman was wonderfully funny. We all booed at the mention of David Cameron and we got to pretend we're superior to Birmingham with a joke about it looking like it lost the cold war. And being the childish person I am, I loved the joke about building a time machine and sending a child's semen to hitler. :-)

20 minutes break and people rushed to get more drink. Then we got to see the Visit NZ video that Fotc put on their MySpace page in big screened glory.

The sound and the big screens were brilliant. I was concerned that being so far back it would be a bit fuzzy but the sound was crystal clear. It would have been great to have been closer though, just as I felt I was watching the screens more than the stage.

Something that made me laugh was the complete lack of enthusiasm whenever they mentioned Manchester. From watching some shows in america, I know that the crowd tend to go wild when you mention their city, but all we had were a few whoops. :-) Either everyone had travelled in or the people of Manchester require a lot more than that to get excited.

I liked Bret's comeback to a shout of "Stairway to Heaven by Led Zeppelin" of "Oh that's who it's by". :-D And at one point a man shouted at the hecklers to shut up, which was quite amusing.

I had a question answered last night too. Last year on a message board I was lambasted for saying that I'd be really interested to know Bret and Jemaine's political/religious/philosophical viewpoint. I didn't even suggest that I would ever ask, just that I'd be interested to know. Apparently my parents dragged me up if I think it's acceptable to discuss politics with anyone ever. Anyway, I can't remember how he (Jemaine) got onto the topic (of God) but santa was involved and then he said something along the lines of "I better not go there", although the audience was laughing along.

The songs themselves were magnificent with a few added extras (I particularly liked the use of "a plus-sized model" during The most beautiful girl in the room) for people like me who have listened to the songs so much that I'm almost immune to the comedy. The cello sounded beautiful throughout. I'm not crying was a particular highlight of mine but every single song was perfectly executed. Even getting the words wrong during Hurt Feelings was wonderfully done.

Then we got to see Jemaine's chest, which is always a bonus. :-) I loved the way that when he put his normal trousers back on they kept falling to the side and revealing his sparkly ones. I think sugalumps would have been better had there been more women in the crowd as it went quite quiet! I guess men aren't going to whoop another man's cock. :-)

I really didn't want it to end, even though my mouth was killing from laughing and my hands were numb from clapping. I'm so pleased that my Mum ordered the tickets for me whilst I was away on holiday. I hope they come again some time.

F of the C

I haven't blogged for a little while. Things have been a little stressful but I'm hoping to have a non-dramatic few weeks to make up for it.

Tomorrow I am doing something very exciting. Exciting things tend to make me nervous, but as one of my TYSIC goals is to do things that scare me, this is a good thing. I'm going to see Flight of the Conchords at the Apollo. But even before I reach the venue, there are fearful obstacles to cross.

1. Getting the bus. It's something that I used to do every day to get to uni, but then I got a job just down the road so it has been some time. It's not something that I'm consciously scared of - I know how to get the bus - but there's an undercurrent of anxiety due to the lack of familiarity. And I've always been irrationally worried about being late. The rational part of my mind says, "You have a mobile phone so it doesn't matter if the bus is late" but the irrational part says, "This is the worst thing that could ever happen". I'm not even thinking about the bus home yet as that's even worse.

2. Meeting a friend whom I have only spent about 10 minutes with face to face. We e-mail regularly but we've never actually spent any real time together. What if she thinks I'm a dick? What if there are lots of long silences? What if I make an inappropriate joke? So many possibilities. On the other hand, we are going to the museum, and there will be lots of things to look at and talk about.

3. Going for food. Last time I went for food before a gig, the bar had run out of potatoes. I had decided on a baked potato but there were none. This threw me. This time I will make a back-up food plan.

4. Entering the Apollo. I heard some terrible stories about Saturday night's gig with bouncers checking everyone's bags and taking their water. I can't not have water with me. It's not very pleasant but the phlegm in my lungs gets too viscous and I can get 'plugs', which make me feel like I'm going to choke to death. Will a bouncer understand this? Will he even bother to listen? What if they think I'm being argumentative and don't let me in?

And then there's the gig itself where I know I'll get agitated by everyone else in the room. People who talk, people who keep getting up for drinks, people who laugh at the wrong time, people who sing along too loudly, people who heckle, and the very worst, people who bump into me. This is made infinitely worse by the fact that I adore FotC. I have been looking forward to seeing them for so long that I want it to be perfect. It's annoying enough that our seats are so far back when we phoned as soon as the lines opened, and that there are still better seats for sale on these stupid websites for astronomical prices.

So, do I assume it will be terrible and hopefully have a nice surprise? Or do I assume it will all be fine and risk the possibility of having my expectations dashed? Or do I stop overthinking everything and just act like a normal human being? I think the latter. :-)

Big Decision

Hello there.

When I wrote the words, "Become a responsible adult", I had in mind all the fun things about growing up; buying a car, a house, growing strawberries, having children. Unfortunately, this morning I've had to face a decision that's rather less enjoyable. But I think that's what being an adult is supposed to be about - making those decisions that you'd rather not make.

A very brief background of the problem. I haven't spoken to a family member for over two years. I grew up with him abusing me and it left me pretty empty and with no self-worth. I finally got the courage to cut him out of my life, but it was never going to be that easy. He knows I love my family and would never want to hurt them, so he's been emotionally blackmailing them ever since, trying to force me to make contact with him by hurting them. For what reason, I do not know. Perhaps he just likes the power.

Up until now, I've let it happen. My reasoning was that if I continued to ignore him despite his sly tricks, he would get the message that I'm not going to let him control my life anymore. This morning proved that that isn't going to happen, at least not for some time. So the question is, do I let him keep upsetting the rest of my family? Or do I face him head on?

Let's look at those options. Option one is to keep quiet, like George Bush with the terrorists. Starting a dialogue with him at this stage could say to him that I've given in. I'm also acutely aware that although I don't fear him anymore, I haven't actually had to face him. Those feelings could come flooding back the moment I see him. In addition, I'm almost 100% sure that rational conversation would fail. So option one is looking good, apart from the problem of constantly attacking my Mum (verbally, that is). Is it really fair to let her take all the crap on my behalf? My family have been very supportive through this and I initially reasoned that it was worth them going through a bit of discomfort in order for me to be happy. But I never expected it to last longer than a month or two. Perhaps it's time I acted my age and stood up for myself.

Which brings us onto option two. Face him. Practically, I'm not sure how this would work. Writing a letter won't work because last time he ripped it up and told everyone a load of lies about what I had written. So the only option is to actually face him. Unfortunately, that idea leaves me feeling rather sick. I've never managed to have a rational conversation with him. It always ends with him shouting in my face, and I'm not prepared to experience that, especially if it makes no difference to the situation. I would love to just walk up to him, tell him exactly how I feel, and walk away, but past experience has taught me that that definitely isn't going to happen. And I suspect that even if we had a discussion, the emotional blackmail would continue, because there's no way I'm having him back in my life.

In summary, I'm screwed aren't I? Say nothing, and let my Mum fight my battles, or say something and probably end up in exactly the same situation but more upset.

I guess the third option would be to just write a letter and see what happens. It doesn't require a great deal of energy emotionally and so if he rips it up, I haven't lost anything.

Any advice?

The country is my oyster

It has just dawned on me that as of tomorrow we can potentially go anywhere in mainland Britain without having to book anything. It's more exciting than I can describe. To those of you who have always had a family car, this probably doesn't sound all that exciting, but to someone who has always had to say, "I can't go, I don't have a car", it's like a whole new world of things that aren't on bus/train routes. When I was little, and my dad still lived with us, we went out for a day of walking, and we could park in a convenient place and leave all the heavy stuff for when we got back. Or we went to Bramhall Park or Macclesfield Park, or the very exotic Bruntwood Park. And it was such a care-free time. Since then though, every trip has to be meticulously planned for bus times and checking we have the right change. You can't take too much with you because you'll have to carry it and most of the time the place you're visiting is a good 20 minute walk from the bus stop. Now however, all of that has changed. Admittedly, petrol prices are at an all-time high, so we won't be nipping to Norfolk or Aberystwyth at the weekend, but even the words "Alderley Edge" excite me. :-)

So I thought I'd make a little list of places I would like to visit now I have transportation at my disposal (sort of).

1. Jodrell Bank Centre for Astrophysics - previously a bus/train to Manchester, another train to Goostrey and a 2.5 mile walk, I have heard Jodrell Bank mentioned so many times on TV, knowing it's only 20 miles away, and I can't wait to go.

2. Alderley Edge - some beautiful walks to be had here and lots of folklore to add to the adventure

3. Lyme Park - Although I have visited recently, (and as a child) I had 30 schoolchildren with me, and it was pouring with rain, so I'd like to exorcise those demons. :-)

4. Tatton Hall and Park - Another one I visited with school, only I was one of the kids, and would love to see it through an adult's eyes

5. Arley Hall - One of those places that always seems to be advertised but I had no idea what it was.

6. Macclesfield - So much to do and very pretty.

7. Blue Planet Aquarium at Ellesmere Port - More for my boyfriend as he loves aquariums.

8. Eyam - the plague village. My sister went with school and I was really jealous.

9. Chatsworth House - This one is for my Mum as she has been desperate to go for years.

10. Bakewell - I like puddings

11. High Tor, Matlock - I want to go on the Heights of Abraham cable car

12. Delamere forest - My grandfather worked for the Forestry commission there and I'd like to go. I'd also like to have a go on "Go Ape".

Heracles, curses and MP3s

Hello there!

My first piece of ridiculously exciting news is that my boyfriend and I are now car owners.

The initial plan, to spend very little on a car that would tide us over for a year, soon went out of the window when we saw this cute little thing with only one previous owner. It's a Daihatsu Cuore and has a tiny 1 litre engine. The downside is that it struggles on hills, the upside is that it only costs £90 a year to tax.

I have always thought it bizarre that people name their cars, but spending £1600 (plus almost a grand on insurance) does funny things to you, and I'm having feelings of love and protection towards this collection of inanimate objects. With these feelings came a desire to give our little one a name. And Heracles seemed perfect. When Heracles (the god, not the car) was just a small baby, he strangled some snakes that had been used to kill him, and hopefully our small baby will show the same strength and fortitude.

Saturday is the day when we go to pick it up (I'm not crazy enough to call it a 'him' yet). We're both still feeling very anxious that we'll be in a massive collision on the way home (about 5 minutes away), but at least that would justify the ridiculously huge amount of money we spent on insuring it.

I had been hoping that you pay car insurance by direct debit, as I've always thought having direct debits (other than optional charity ones) was a sure sign that you are an adult, but it turns out it costs a lot more to pay monthly so the whole amount was gulped down by the insurance company in one.

Moving on to another of my goals, to become a runner, things had gone awry. I hurt my foot a few weeks ago and could barely walk for a week, and then my motivation seeped away and sitting eating vast amounts of saturated fat seemed like more fun than running. This morning, however, I was listening to the radio and heard them say that it was already well into April, and panic set in! In a previous blog I stated that despite doing a grand total of 1 mile in 3 years during the month of April, it didn't mean that the same would happen this year. Only it kind of was happening, and I felt the foul stench of failure creeping towards me. So I decided that today I would run. And I did. 2.3 miles to be exact, which is 2.3 miles more than I would have liked to do. It was hard work as I've put on a few pounds of late and my lungs didn't know what was going on, but I succeeded in doing 7 lots of run2/walk1. Perhaps more importantly though, I have beaten my record for running in April! :-)

As well as very slowly plodding through Ulysses (I had planned to read it during my lunch hour at work yesterday but I was so irate from a ruckus with a co-worker that I couldn't concentrate), I happened upon the best woodworking book I have ever seen. I have read woodworking books in the past but they tend to concentrate very much on the skills and ignore the whole point, which is actually making usable things. The brilliance of this one is that it tells you which tools to buy first in order to make some simple projects. The only downside is that it assumes a little bit of knowledge, which I lack, but it's more than made up for by the detailed information and projects. It has made me realise that I definitely need to find a course in September as I would just bugger it all up on my own, and I can't really afford to buy tools until I know I'm going to enjoy it. I'm hoping to take the book out of the library again though once I've got the basics to try my hand at the beginner projects. There's a bird box, and a toy truck (I've always wanted to make wooden toys) and a shoe rack, and lots more. It's probably very odd for a 25 year old female to get excited by chisels but I could spend hours looking through the Screwfix catalogue.

And speaking of excitement, I read today that the details for the MP3 challenge are all collected and ready to be formed into a wonderful route! So hopefully soon I will find out when and where I'll be going and who I will be meeting. I also had a think this morning about what song I want to put onto the player. Part of me is terrified that I will accidentally wipe the memory, but that's probably unlikely. I've decided that it has to be an Elliott Smith song, as he is my all-time favourite musical artist, but choosing one will be tricky.

I'm off to look at tools...

Cheerio! Amy. xxx

Polish, weddings and being an adult

I've had an exciting week. I wasn't expecting to be able to do anything on the "Become a responsible adult" part of my TYSIC for some time, but some brilliant news on Monday has set the ball rolling.

So, Monday morning my boyfriend received a lovely thick letter from Manchester University informing him that he has been accepted on a Clinical Psychology course. We were 95% sure that he wouldn't get onto it as competition was fierce and we were preparing for the worst, so I was over the moon. How does this change things? Well, we have been living with my boyfriend's parents for years now, saving up our paltry wages so that we would one day be able to move out into a place of our own. The course is 3 years long and pays a salary so we can definitely move out in October when it starts.

Before the excitement and stress of house hunting though, we have begun the process of buying a car. My boyfriend has had his license for 3 years but we couldn't afford to run a car. We know literally nothing about them. Fortunately, we have the Internet, and I have spent hours on car websites and insurance websites, and now feel like I have a vague idea of what to look for. Last night we took our first tentative steps and phoned about 7 people who were selling cars on autotrader. Sadly, all were taken, but we feel very grown up all the same. :-) The plan is to keep looking and check the local newspaper. We won't be using it much for the first 6 months but I can't wait to be able to go for daytrips.

In another small grown up step, I sorted out the bank accounts this morning so we now have a joint current and savings account and our own personal ones. Everything is ready!

As for "Do things that scare me", I attended my sister's wedding on Thursday. It was in a beautiful grand room in Manchester Town Hall and I knew very few people there. I had chickened out of being a bridesmaid as I hate being looked at but I still felt nervous for my sister and my Mum as they came down the aisle. I hadn't seen her in the dress so when she walked out I was really taken aback. She looked beautiful. One of the toddlers at the wedding thought she was a princess. :-) The ceremony was also beautiful. Then came some freezing cold outside pictures, where thankfully the rain stayed away. I'm terrible at smiling for pictures so god knows how I'm going to look. The first test of anxiety was waiting for the room to be ready in the bar below. All the local businessmen had finished early for Easter and it was packed. Really, really packed. And very loud. But we lasted until the room opened and breathed a sigh of relief as we walked in to the empty room, filled with candles and balloons and pink bags full of sweets. The speeches were really good and I almost cried when my sister's boyfriend told her how much he loved her. Then came a delicious buffet and some minor celebrities. My sister has worked for ITV and BBC so she's picked up some celebrity friends along the way. :-) The bit I was dreading though was the dancing. My sister loves dancing, and throughout our lives has dragged me onto dancefloors. On the plus side, the DJ was my little brother, on the down side, there were lots of good dancers. I am a 'bad dancer'. At home, dancing consists mainly of jumping up and down, but this isn't generally accepted in polite society. But then my boyfriend and my Mum got up for a dance and they were not good dancers, so it didn't seem so bad. I was ridiculously self-conscious and I'm not sure that I actually enjoyed it, but my sister was happy and my brother was happy, and I wasn't unhappy. Besides, the alternative was to sit looking grumpy all night.

On the "Strive to Learn" front, I have been learning some Polish words this week from a book that we were going to throw out at the library (we're not allowed to sell children's books for complicated reasons). I think I will see how many I can remember. I'll write them phonetically as my keyboard doesn't have all the characters and I probably can't spell most of them anyway:

Kot - cat
Konn - horse
Pyess - dog
Ovtsa - sheep
Koora - hen
Katchka - duck
Krova - cow
Tata - dad
Mama - mum
Nyemovley - baby
Jefchinna - girl
Hwopyets - boy
Stoo - table
Veedelets - fork
Noozh - knife
Oowiszhka - spoon
Yaika - eggs
Yabooko - apple
Hleb - bread
Pomarancha - orange
Koleyka - train
Tsegwy - blocks
Skarpetki - socks
Booty - shoes
Spodniey - trousers
pantofle - slippers
Plooshovy meesh - teddy bear
Samahood - car
dom - house
park - park
koonia - kitchen
salon - lounge
Babcha - grandmother
jadek - grandfather
banan - banana
Charny - black

I think that's all the ones I can remember. Not too bad. I'd like to know a little about sentence structure but I guess I'll need a grown-up book for that. :-) I'll stick to my words for now.

And that just leaves "Become a runner". No progress at all this week. I hurt my left foot and could barely walk. Then that seemed to disappear, but my legs are still hurting from the wedding (I had stupid shoes that kept falling off). And I've been stuffing my face. Still, 3 out of 4. :-)

Chartsengrafs

Hello there,

Time seems to be flying by this week and I don't seem to have done a great deal.

So today I've decided to think and blog about my goal to "Become a runner".

I use an excellent website called Fetcheveryone, where you can enter every run you do and say how well it went, how tired you were, what shoes you were wearing etc. This is perfect for me as I have a love of graphs and tables. I used to get my graph fix from monitoring my peak flow and Fev-1 score (to determine how my lungs were doing), but then my gadget broke and it didn't seem as fun on an old-fashioned meter. As soon as I started running I was on Microsoft Excel, writing things like, "Distance - 0.91miles, Time - 14 minutes 33" :-)

So, today I had a look at this beautiful graph (above) that very cleverly and usefully charts how much running you have done since the beginning of time. It all began in 2007 with gay abandon (the big red lines) before getting ill over christmas. Then another spurt before a miserable year of pneumonia and aspergillus and pseudomonas. 2009 was plagued with problems at work and an operation on my sinuses, and the result of all these setbacks is a very uneven graph. But I'm rather proud to note that the light blue lines are looking good. I have had my most successful January, February and March, in terms of distance run. But take a look at April. And May. And I guess June is also looking pretty sorry for itself. I'm a logical person but there's a niggling fear that there's a catastrophe just around the corner, readying itself to leap into my life and destroy my lofty ambitions. I know it's ridiculous. 2007 I hadn't started running yet, 2008 I was incredibly ill, and 2009 I had blood coming out of my nose. There is no reason why next month will be bad. No reason at all.

So, today I had a little think about where to go from here to make sure I don't bugger things up. Now Sport Relief is over and the pressure is off, I'm going to have another go at the 8 week 5k plan. I tried it in 2008 but it was just too depressing to have to keep going back to week 1 every time I got ill. As of next month, I will have been infection-free for a whole year, and this seems a perfect time to try again.

The Schedule

• Week 1 Run one min, walk 90 seconds. Repeat eight times. Do three times a week.
• Week 2 Run two mins, walk one min. Repeat seven times. Do three times a week.
• Week 3 Run three mins walk one mins. Repeat six times. Do three times a week.
• Week 4 Run five mins, walk two mins. Repeat four times. Do three times a week.
• Week 5 Run eight mins, walk two mins. Repeat three times. Do three times a week.
• Week 6 Run 12 mins, walk one min. Repeat three times. Do three times a week.
• Week 7 Run 15 mins, walk one min, Run fifteen mins. Do three times a week
• Week 8 Run 30 mins continuously

I'm ignoring week 1, as I think 3 years of running should have just about prepared me for that one. :-)

Today I attempted Run 2/walk 1. I started with 5 minutes of walking to warm up and then I did R2/W1 until I reached the 32 minute mark, when I ran the rest of the way to the 3 mile marker. That's 9 2-min runs and about 4 mins running at the end, with a "sprint" finish. I know that's more than they recommend, but I'm a very slow runner and there's no way I will ever cover 5k in 30 minutes. It was my fastest ever 3 mile at 36 mins 32 secs. And my body doesn't feel like it's going to crumble, which is a good sign after months of pain in my joints.

So a good start I think and hopefully I can repeat this a few more times before moving on to run3/walk1.

In other TYSIC news, I booked tickets to see Quasi this week. I can count the number of gigs I have been to on one hand, as I am a massive ball of anxiety about them. It's mostly the travelling to and from that worries me, but also the density of people that will no doubt have contact with me. Luckily for me, I have the best boyfriend in the world, and on the rare occasions that I simply have to go to a gig, he comes along regardless of how much he hates the band/singer. I've been a massive Quasi fan since I was about 15 and I simply had to go.

So that's 2 gigs in May booked. I also signed up for the MP3 challenge, which (if I'm correct in how this will work) will mean meeting two complete strangers and travelling. There is no way in a million years that I would have ever considered this a month ago.

And on the Ulysses front, I have read the first 3 chapters, but need to re-read chapter 3 about 8 times before I'll be able to write about it on the Ulysses blog.

That was a long post.

Cheerio! Amy. xxx

Everything beautiful is far away: Ulysses

This blog is made especially for my reading of Ulysses so I can keep returning to it to ask questions and ponder.

I have so far read the first two chapters, and was beginning to think, "What was all the fuss about?". But then I reached chapter three and remembered why I found it hard to read last time. :-)

Essentially, my problem is that I'm not well-read enough to understand 95% of the allusions. I know who Iago is and I have a vague understanding of the potato famine (from a TV drama with the McGann brothers that I saw when I was about 7), but otherwise, I'm lost.

Thankfully, my edition of Ulysses (the library's edition to be exact) has explanatory notes, and after a few confused minutes, I now understand how to use them. They include the greek myths (or is it Roman?) that go with the chapter titles, and more usefully, have an explanation for almost every obscure reference. By obscure, I mean obscure to me. I'm sure Stephen Fry wouldn't have a problem. I'm also reading with a dictionary next to me.

So, let's sum up the first two chapters, as I understand them.

Chapter One

We meet Buck Mulligan and Stephen Dedalus, who are living together in Martello Tower. Buck is quite loud and domineering, whereas Stephen seems quiter. Stephen has recently lost his mother, and feels a certain amount of guilt for not praying by her side as she was dying. This isn't helped by Buck. Haines is also staying. He is an Englishman who can speak Irish, which very few Irish people can do. He makes lots of noise at night, which displeases Stephen. They eat breakfast and a lady comes with some milk. Then Buck and Haines go for a swim and Stephen goes to work.

Chapter Two

Stephen is teaching a class of boys about the Pyrrhic victory. I was interested to discover that a "Pyrrhic Victory" is one where the winning side loses so much in the process that it may as well be a defeat. The boys go out to play sport and Stephen goes to get his pay packet from Mr Deasy. It turns out Stephen owes a lot of money. Mr Deasy asks him to try to get a letter published in a newspaper as Stephen knows some editors. Mr Deasy isn't a very pleasant character and wrongly makes statements about Ireland and Jews.

I'm sure I've missed out some central theme that's glaringly obvious. This is in no way a critique of the novel, I'm just hoping that by writing down what I remember, I will understand the book better. I've read the first few lines of chapter three and it's a tricky one because it's a stream of consciousness but hopefully my trusty notes will help.

Huzzah!

Today was an excellent day TYSIC-wise and life-wise.

I made progress in two of my categories.

First up was the Sport Relief 3 miles. The weather was perfect. Blue skies, sunshine and a light breeze. I started to feel incredibly nervous when we got there and saw the route, which looked about 10 miles long. But then 4 of my friends turned up to support me, bearing sponsorship and lots of positive words!

As 1pm approached we (me, my Mum, my sister and my boyfriend) made our way to the start line and tried not to be sick with fear. My Mum and I had decided to run together so we started steady as dozens of people whizzed past. Halfway round the track some people were already stopping to walk but we carried on. We soon latched on to a man with two kids, who seemed to be running at our pace. The original plan was to run a minute, walk a minute, but we felt okay so did loads of running. After the first mile I was feeling tired in my legs but okay. After the second my lungs decided to give me trouble but we kept going. Our tiny pacemakers gave up at 2 miles and left their dad to continue alone! Fortunately, a 7 year old boy appeared and we couldn't let him beat us! We struggled on, doing much more walking on this lap and my lungs were screaming by now. The stewards were great, shouting encouragement, and as we approached the stadium I started my sprint finish, and a small child stopped right in front of me! After dodging her, and tweaking a muscle in the process, I managed my sprint to the end. I received a shiny medal, a bottle of water and a goody bag.

My target was to finish in 40 minutes and I did it in 37 minutes 50 seconds! My boyfriend almost lapped me, at 10 minutes faster, but it was nice seeing him leaving for his last lap as we were just approaching. :-)

I'm pretty chuffed, if a little sore, and even more determined now to enter a 5k parkrun. Ideally, I want to be able to run the whole 5k (regardless of speed) before I enter, but there are two vertical hills so a few walks would be okay.

My only concern is that my lungs still hurt! 8 hours later! I guess the poor things aren't used to running outside.

So, to the next bit of progress...

In my goody bag was a single prune. I've never eaten a prune for obvious reasons. They look horrible. I'm not sure I've ever really eaten a plum (I may have nibbled one) so I had no idea how it would taste. But my boyfriend encouraged me to eat it and I did! Tentatively to begin with, but then I ate the last quarter in one. It tasted okay, but the leathery skin was a bit odd. Apparently 3 prunes is one portion of fruit, so maybe in the future I will attempt to eat more.

To top it all off, it's my boyfriend's birthday so I got to eat cake and chocolates for dinner. :-) I guess I'm still working on the runner's diet.

I'm here today and expected to stay on and on and on, I'm tired, I'm tired.

Hello there!

With 3 days to go until the Sport Relief run, I am ill. Not so ill that I can take time off work, but ill enough that when I drag myself home again all I want to do is sleep. I'm horrendously tired.

Now I've got that disclaimer out of the way (i.e. please don't judge any spelling errors or hideously poor phrasing - it's not my fault, I'm poorly and tired), I'm going to go through my four main goals and see what progress has been made.

Become a "Responsible Adult"

Although I haven't been able to actually do anything for this yet, I have been planning. I've discussed with my Mum how much she can comfortably lend us towards a house and tried to work out how quickly we'll be able to repay her. I have looked on auto trader to see how much cars are and just how ugly I'm willing to go to get a cheap price. I've also found a few websites with tips on how to check second-hand cars are okay and not stolen.

Become a runner

A big part of running for me is keeping my lungs as healthy as possible. I went to the North West Lung Centre on Monday for a check up and got very good news. My lung function has gone up slightly from last time, which means it has been improving for a whole year. I've also managed to avoid chest infections for a whole year, which is amazing when I think of the year before when I was ill about 50% of the time. I'm slightly concerned that I have a chesty cough at the moment but I'll wait and see how it progresses.

This morning I felt knackered but I knew that today was my last opportunity to run before the day of the race (where I'll be running 3 miles). So I put my eenie weenie teenie weenie running top on (that may as well have the words "Look at my fat belly" written across it) and my Asda shorts and I got on the treadmill. This may sound bizarre, but I've discovered that I can run for much longer when I imagine there's someone with me. Over the past few weeks I have found that Rich Fulcher works best. :-) He's very loud and he makes me laugh and it turns out he's an excellent running coach. So I got through 2.5 miles with lots of walking but did manage 5 minutes of running at one point.

Do Things that Scare me

If we count different cheeses as different foods, I have tried 5 new foods since the challenge began - way more than I had planned. This morning I ate a pear. Pears look a bit more rotten and dirty than shiny apples, so I've always been a bit put off by them, but my Mum loves them so I thought they can't be that bad. The texture was odd, a bit like a peach (which freak me out for being so hairy) but the taste wasn't too dissimilar to an apple. I ate most of it anyway, as I was starving after running.

Other than food, I haven't done many scary things. I've been pondering going to a stand-up comedy gig as I've never been to one before. I used to argue (with myself) that it was a bad idea because laughter brings on coughing, which brings on phlegm, which makes people disgusted. But seeing as my lungs have been behaving so well recently, that's very unlikely to happen. And I know that Mark is slightly anxious (but still optimistic) about his shows not selling, so I'm pondering going to see Mark's gig. I'm not sure where I'll be living yet though. I'll look at the dates anyway - that's a start.

Strive to Learn

Well, I've read 3 of the books on my list since the challenge started and technically I've read a non-fiction, but it was Rich Fulcher's "Tiny Acts of Rebellion", which never set out to teach anyone anything. :-) Yesterday, my mammoth copy of Ulysses arrived, and after perusing the explanatory notes, I realised that I don't understand what the hell they're going on about, so I may ignore them. I think I'll do a separate blog for Ulysses, so I can keep commenting on chapters and get help when I'm stuck. It seems funny to be "stuck" on a book at the age of 25. I don't think I've ever been stuck before, not even as a kid.

TV wise, I seem to be fixated on parenting programmes. 'Really' seems to have bought up lots so I tend to turn to channel 267 most days. I've also been watching 'One born every minute', which is harrowing. I'm not planning on giving birth unless adoption fails but I'd like to be there for my sister in the future and hopefully I won't faint or be sick.


So, some progress but could do better. This weekend falls into the running category and the fear category. I have never run 3 miles outside. Apparently it will be raining and windy, and there may well be people I know there. I need to stop being so negative and cheer the hell up. :-)

And in non-TYSIC related news, I put pink streaks in my hair to match my purple dress that I'm wearing for my sister's wedding. Clearly I wash my hair too often because it's fading too quickly and is very unlikely to last until April 1st. I like it though. Even if it does make me look 15.

Big Cheese Challenge results

Okay, so it turns out flooding isn't the best approach for trying to like food. It was probably the least fun few minutes I have had in a long while. This picture is the ridiculously optimistic amount of cheese I had hoped to eat. Cathedral City, Grana Padano and Crumbly Lancashire.

The challenge started off badly because I was all ready for it and then people came home who don't know about my eating problems, let alone the challenge, and they started saying, "Why don't you have it with crackers?" and giving me funny looks. So I had to take my plate upstairs.


So, Cathedral City. I honestly thought this would be okay as I have eaten it melted so many times. I was wrong! Believe it or not, the picture on the left is two bites. Admittedly small, but two bites nonetheless. The taste was atrocious and my anxiety about eating the other two shot up.









My boyfriend kindly recommended that I leave the Grana Padano until last, because it's like parmesan and strong. But looking at this crumbly monstrosity my heart was beating ten to the dozen and my stomach was preparing to throw it back up before it was even in my hand. So, I picked up a small amount and put it in my mouth, and it was horrible, as I expected, but no worse than the last. I managed two small fingerfuls.





So, time for the last one and my boyfriend's advice was making me think this was a bad idea. I got a Penguin (chocolate bar, not animal) ready next to me. I closed my eyes, and took the tiniest nibble (as you can see) and attempted to chew. About 2 seconds later the retching began and that Penguin was unwrapped very quickly.





So, in summary, I ate three cheeses, and I kept them down. It's unlikely that any adjudicator would count the last one as a "big boy bite", but I hadn't realised just how strong it would taste. I'm feeling pretty disappointed as I genuinely thought that I would taste it and realise how silly I had been, but I guess it doesn't work that way. The next step is to do what Ricky Gervais did. He once said in an interview that he started with a tiny bit of cheese on a ritz cracker and built up from there. Probably wiser. I shouldn't be too sad though. This morning I ate a whole bowl of porridge with syrup and I almost enjoyed it, then I finished reading "As I Lay Dying" from my list, and then a few hours later I went for a run outside, which I rarely do, and didn't have any pain at all. I can't expect 25 years of dodgy thoughts about food to just vanish because I want them to and I should be pleased that I'm at least trying to vanquish them.

So there's my pitiful entry for this week's little challenge. :-)

Big Cheese Challenge

Yesterday Mark Watson posted this:

Who can do the best/most spectacular/most difficult/weirdest thing in pursuit of their TYSIC, and post some sort of proof of it (picture, video, emailed copy of prison bail certificate etc), by next Wednesday?

And although I have no delusions that I would ever do the best, most or weirdest anything, I thought I should at least make the effort to do something I wasn't planning on doing. Hence, the Big Cheese Challenge.

I was going to work on cheese next month, but why wait? I was also going to use a gradual exposure approach, but instead I will be going for the flooding method.

Now, eating cheese may not sound difficult, and if I were to tell you that I eat cooked cheese regularly, it may sound even easier. But, as far as I can recall, I have never put a piece of uncooked cheese in my mouth. It's crazy I know, but even the thought of there being a tiny bit of cheese in a sandwich sends shivers down my spine. It's inconvenient and it's embarrassing and it's just stupid.

So, this weekend I shall eat cheese. But not only that, I shall attempt to eat 3 types of cheese (the three we have in the fridge at the moment).
1. Cathedral City Lighter - I eat this melted on toast or in omelettes all of the time so I'm thinking this will be easiest
2. A hard italian cheese - this looks a lot scarier
3. A crumbly cheese - short of goat's cheese, this is terrifying. I won't even eat this melted and disguised.

The idea is to have a "big boy bite" (as heard on The House of Tiny Tearaways" of each, and keep it in my stomach. As for documenting, I guess I'll have to take photos.


In other TYSIC news, I finished reading Graham Greene's The Heart of the Matter. I really enjoyed it and found the main character Scobie very interesting. Wilson was also funny to read about, like a little child acting grown up.
I've made a start on William Faulkner's As I Lay Dying and I have ordered Ulysses (again), which I will be attempting to read for the second time with a little help. :-)

Jumping hurdles

Hello there!

It is ridiculously glorious outside and I'm feeling similar inside. :-)

Last night I had an idea. I watch loads of tv programmes about raising children so I should know every trick in the book to get children to eat. I thought, well maybe it would work for me. So I told myself that dinner last night was going to be a bowl of porridge. If I didn't eat it, I wouldn't get anything else and if I ate it all I could have a chocolate chip brioche.

Admittedly, it was about 20% sugar, and it took a very long time, but I ate the whole bowl! I had a few moments where I had to breathe slowly to stop myself feeling sick and I still haven't got over the texture, but I was pretty chuffed that I ate it all. The plan is to try again at the weekend but with syrup instead of sugar, and if I still don't like it I can officially say I have tried.

Riding high on my achievement, I watched Eddie Izzard running his marathons last night and I was so impressed. This morning I got on my treadmill and did something I've never done before. Usually, I run for a minute, walk for a minute and so on. This gives my faulty lungs time to recover. I have in the past run a whole mile without stopping, but never any more than that. But this morning I had Eddie Izzard in my mind and I decided to just keep going. After a 5 minute warm up walk, I ran a whole mile without stopping (or indeed slowing), walked for 5 minutes to recover, and ran another mile. I was out of breath but it didn't feel out of control and my legs were surprisingly okay. During the last 4 minutes of running, and the 5 minute warm down, I thought I was going to be sick, but I kept going and I was fine. I can't explain how happy this makes me feel. I have this mental block whenever I get to the one minute point and feel that I have to slow to a walk, but I smashed it today and suddenly my desire to run a proper 5k race seems a lot more possible.

I know from experience that the first run after a really great run tends to be terrible so Saturday's run is going to be outside. Outside running is really hard for me and I struggle to regulate my breathing, so there's no way I can compare the two and be disappointed.

So, two successes. But I wasn't quite ready to stop there. I had a phone call to make. And I didn't want to make it. I have a hospital appointment on Monday and I needed to phone ahead to ask the nurses to put some filters aside for my nebuliser. I've had a few bad experiences where nurses have been really rude to me and suggested that I'm a drain on the NHS so last time I didn't even bother ringing and got told off in person for not ordering. But I phoned, and it was fine, and she was nice, and the filters will be waiting for me on Monday. :-)

I am having an excellent day!

Cheerio! Amy. xxx

The Modern Library's 100 Best Novels

Hello there!

This entry is all about the section of my "Strive to Learn" goal that involves reading the Best 100 modern novels. I started working at a library two years ago and decided that it would be a terrible waste not to make the most of the literature surrounding me. The problem was that I didn't really know where to start. The previous summer I had finally got around to reading Nineteen Eighty-Four and Brave New World, and I was hungry for more of the classics. I couldn't bear to read any more "chick lit" and on a more vain level, I wanted to appear cultured and knowledgeable.

So I spent some time perusing the internet and stumbled upon this list. It was perfect! Unlike many of the top 100 lists voted for by the public, it didn't include children's books or Dan Brown, and I hadn't even heard of a lot of them, so I was itching to get started. Perhaps my biggest mistake was starting at number one: Ulysses. A colleague even advised me to read number 3 first but I felt that I should start my new reading era with the best, the number one book. And I failed to read it. I got through about half and then realised that I wasn't enjoying it, and the whole point was to find books that I would love. That little obstacle side-stepped, I devoured some wonderful books, books that I would never have looked twice at had they not been on this list. Even the authors I don't like so much (sorry Henry James) have been an experience, and have enabled me to pinpoint what I enjoy and why.

Most of the novels on this list have left me feeling full. The really good ones have been voraciously feasted upon in one or two sittings and when the story has come to an end, mourned and contemplated. There have been characters so vivid and lovable that I have cried when they have been through hardship and settings described so wonderfully that I have longed to be transported there. I have realised that all I want from a book is characters that I feel I truly know and a writing style that doesn't leave me frustrated and angry or confused. A good story tends to follow from strong characters, and a powerful message will shine through, even to literalists like myself who struggle to read between the lines.

Anyway, below is my list. I have highlighted in red the titles that I have read.

1. ULYSSES by James Joyce
2. THE GREAT GATSBY by F. Scott Fitzgerald
3. A PORTRAIT OF THE ARTIST AS A YOUNG MAN by James Joyce
4. LOLITA by Vladimir Nabokov
5. BRAVE NEW WORLD by Aldous Huxley
6. THE SOUND AND THE FURY by William Faulkner
7. CATCH-22 by Joseph Heller
   
8. DARKNESS AT NOON by Arthur Koestler
9. SONS AND LOVERS by D.H. Lawrence
10. THE GRAPES OF WRATH by John Steinbeck
11. UNDER THE VOLCANO by Malcolm Lowry
12. THE WAY OF ALL FLESH by Samuel Butler
13. 1984 by George Orwell
14. I, CLAUDIUS by Robert Graves
15. TO THE LIGHTHOUSE by Virginia Woolf
16. AN AMERICAN TRAGEDY by Theodore Dreiser
17. THE HEART IS A LONELY HUNTER by Carson McCullers
18. SLAUGHTERHOUSE-FIVE by Kurt Vonnegut
19. INVISIBLE MAN by Ralph Ellison
20. NATIVE SON by Richard Wright
21. HENDERSON THE RAIN KING by Saul Bellow
22. APPOINTMENT IN SAMARRA by John O'Hara
23. U.S.A. (trilogy) by John Dos Passos
24. WINESBURG, OHIO by Sherwood Anderson
25. A PASSAGE TO INDIA by E.M. Forster
26. THE WINGS OF THE DOVE by Henry James
27. THE AMBASSADORS by Henry James
28. TENDER IS THE NIGHT by F. Scott Fitzgerald
29. THE STUDS LONIGAN TRILOGY by James T. Farrell
30. THE GOOD SOLDIER by Ford Madox Ford
31. ANIMAL FARM by George Orwell
32. THE GOLDEN BOWL by Henry James
33. SISTER CARRIE by Theodore Dreiser
34. A HANDFUL OF DUST by Evelyn Waugh
35. AS I LAY DYING by William Faulkner
36. ALL THE KING'S MEN by Robert Penn Warren
37. THE BRIDGE OF SAN LUIS REY by Thornton Wilder
38. HOWARDS END by E.M. Forster
39. GO TELL IT ON THE MOUNTAIN by James Baldwin
40. THE HEART OF THE MATTER by Graham Greene
41. LORD OF THE FLIES by William Golding
42. DELIVERANCE by James Dickey
43. A DANCE TO THE MUSIC OF TIME (series) by Anthony Powell
44. POINT COUNTER POINT by Aldous Huxley
45. THE SUN ALSO RISES by Ernest Hemingway
46. THE SECRET AGENT by Joseph Conrad
47. NOSTROMO by Joseph Conrad
48. THE RAINBOW by D.H. Lawrence
49. WOMEN IN LOVE by D.H. Lawrence
50. TROPIC OF CANCER by Henry Miller
51. THE NAKED AND THE DEAD by Norman Mailer
52. PORTNOY'S COMPLAINT by Philip Roth
53. PALE FIRE by Vladimir Nabokov
54. LIGHT IN AUGUST by William Faulkner
55. ON THE ROAD by Jack Kerouac
56. THE MALTESE FALCON by Dashiell Hammett
57. PARADE'S END by Ford Madox Ford
58. THE AGE OF INNOCENCE by Edith Wharton
59. ZULEIKA DOBSON by Max Beerbohm
60. THE MOVIEGOER by Walker Percy
61. DEATH COMES FOR THE ARCHBISHOP by Willa Cather
62. FROM HERE TO ETERNITY by James Jones
63. THE WAPSHOT CHRONICLES by John Cheever
64. THE CATCHER IN THE RYE by J.D. Salinger
65. A CLOCKWORK ORANGE by Anthony Burgess
66. OF HUMAN BONDAGE by W. Somerset Maugham
67. HEART OF DARKNESS by Joseph Conrad
68. MAIN STREET by Sinclair Lewis
69. THE HOUSE OF MIRTH by Edith Wharton
70. THE ALEXANDRIA QUARTET by Lawrence Durell
71. A HIGH WIND IN JAMAICA by Richard Hughes
72. A HOUSE FOR MR BISWAS by V.S. Naipaul
73. THE DAY OF THE LOCUST by Nathanael West
74. A FAREWELL TO ARMS by Ernest Hemingway
75. SCOOP by Evelyn Waugh
76. THE PRIME OF MISS JEAN BRODIE by Muriel Spark
77. FINNEGANS WAKE by James Joyce
78. KIM by Rudyard Kipling
79. A ROOM WITH A VIEW by E.M. Forster
80. BRIDESHEAD REVISITED by Evelyn Waugh
81. THE ADVENTURES OF AUGIE MARCH by Saul Bellow
82. ANGLE OF REPOSE by Wallace Stegner
83. A BEND IN THE RIVER by V.S. Naipaul
84. THE DEATH OF THE HEART by Elizabeth Bowen
85. LORD JIM by Joseph Conrad
86. RAGTIME by E.L. Doctorow
87. THE OLD WIVES' TALE by Arnold Bennett
88. THE CALL OF THE WILD by Jack London
89. LOVING by Henry Green
90. MIDNIGHT'S CHILDREN by Salman Rushdie
91. TOBACCO ROAD by Erskine Caldwell
92. IRONWEED by William Kennedy
93. THE MAGUS by John Fowles
94. WIDE SARGASSO SEA by Jean Rhys
95. UNDER THE NET by Iris Murdoch
96. SOPHIE'S CHOICE by William Styron
97. THE SHELTERING SKY by Paul Bowles
98. THE POSTMAN ALWAYS RINGS TWICE by James M. Cain
99. THE GINGER MAN by J.P. Donleavy
100. THE MAGNIFICENT AMBERSONS by Booth Tarkington

TYSIC has rekindled my excitement for my list. In fact, it has rekindled my excitement for everything. I sometimes find that people see excitement as a childish emotion. Something that should only be brought out on special occasions, as a guilty pleasure. As an adult, you are allowed to be excited about weddings, births and perhaps holidays. It is seen as silly to be excited about your birthday, or Christmas, or seeing a rabbit hopping along in a field, or receiving a letter from an old friend. You've seen it all before so you should act your age and grimace your way through life. But you haven't seen this Christmas before, or read this letter, or watched this rabbit. Anything can be exciting if you see it that way, and in my experience, living your life in perpetual excitement is far more enjoyable than living it from a distance, with a look of boredom on your face. So what if millions of people can drive? So what if thousands of people have run a marathon, and if hundreds of thousands can play the piano, and if loads of people run businesses? I haven't done any of those things, and perhaps neither have you, so they are new, and they are exciting. And every time one of us achieves one of our little goals, however modest, we can all be excited together, revelling in the wonder that is being alive and being human, thankful that we were lucky enough to be born in a free, developed country, able to connect with and positively influence other lives. So, once again, I'd like to say thank you Mr Watson, and thank you everybody else who is making TYSIC what it is.

Cheerio! Amy. xxx

I ate some porridge

Hello there!

This morning I managed to tick off this month's goal of "Try new food". And I picked a food that would be a huge challenge - porridge. I have been a fussy eater since childhood. My Mum was very laid-back with food and didn't force us to eat anything, which would probably have worked well with some kids, but not me. One christmas, I had a plate of mashed potato.

My big problem (along with many other smaller ones) has always been with sloppy, mushy foods. I used to have Weetabix every day and if I poured slightly too much milk into the bowl and it got mushy, I couldn't eat it. I developed a weird thing where I would always start retching on the last 2 mouthfuls. Rice pudding and porridge are two things that I decided I would never eat.

Until today. Admittedly, it wasn't the success I had hoped for. I only ate one spoonful and had to steel myself in order not to heave it back up. It actually tasted okay but the texture was horrific. I'm thinking I should try it a few more times and maybe my aversion to sloppy food will be overcome.

Afterwards, I sat thinking how bizarre it is that the idea of a comedian I have never met had just led to me doing something I would never have dreamed of doing before. That's a terribly worded sentence, but the message remains! I would have continued through life having never tasted porridge.

So, what to pick for next month? My boyfriend has nominated uncooked cheese. I can eat cheese melted on pizza or toast or within a burrito, but I have never managed a proper bite of what I call "raw cheese". I even gag at cheese that's half melted, so this will be a challenge. But that can wait until April. Before then I have to eat more porridge.

In other TYSIC news, last night I finished reading "Go Tell it on the Mountain" by James Baldwin, which takes the total of "Top 100 Modern Novels" read to 39. At some point I'll put up the list. It was a harrowing tale and brought me close to tears at one point, which I rate highly in a novel. I found John's conversion bizarre though. I felt like his story was just starting and didn't feel satisfied at the end. The characters were strong though.

In unrelated news, I managed to turn my hair orange yesterday. I bought one of those kits that are meant to give subtle light tones to your hair. Instead, I am left with chunks of brassy orangey blonde. I had originally wanted to put pink streaks in but decided on the subtle option, but now I'll have to put the pink in to cover up the mess. I ordered it yesterday, which means I have to work at least one evening with terrible hair, possibly two. Still, it's nowhere near as bad as when I bleached my black hair and got a whole head of orange. :-)

Cheerio! Amy. xxx

Why and What?

Hello there,

So, this is my first blog entry and it marks the beginning of my TYSIC decade. The idea is that by writing down my progress, I will be spurred on to do more.

Why am I doing the TYSIC?

In short, I am lazy. I have always been, and always will be, lazy. That's not to say that I don't work hard. If I want to achieve something, especially something that I enjoy, I will happily work into the night to get something done. However, my default setting is to find the path of least resistance. I am the kind of person who sees no point in making the bed unless you are having visitors, as you will only get back into it the following night. At school, my Maths teacher told us that the best mathematicians were lazy as they were constantly looking for quicker ways to do things, and I was the best in my class at Maths.

So, I am essentially lazy, and like the Taoist philosophers, I like to drift through life, not fight against it. This is fine most of the time. I am happy and content and I have very little stress in my life. However, I have found that the line between being content and being bored is quite narrow. I have experienced times when I suddenly realise I have nothing interesting to do. I have no goals and nothing to work towards. I start longing for plans to make and a little bit of stress in my life.

By taking on the Ten Year Self-Improvement Challenge I can continue to strive for a stress-free happy life, but combine it with small hurdles to jump and mountains to climb. I can enjoy being in my comfort zone all the more by occasionally throwing myself out of it. I can look back in ten year's time at a decade of fun, of improvement and of happiness and know that I did my best to squeeze every last drop of enjoyment out of this life.

In addition to this private, personal journey, I am very much looking forward to sharing in other people's successes as they too push their boundaries to open up their lives to new experiences.

What are my goals?

My initial goals have slightly changed since a few days ago as I felt that I wasn't pushing myself enough and I wanted to incorporate ongoing goals as well as discrete milestones. After a lot of thought, I now have 4 categories.

Become a "Responsible Adult"

Due to saving for a house, my boyfriend and I have been living, rent-free, with his parents for the past few years. This means that at the age of 25, I have never had to arrange direct debits, pay council tax, buy a TV License or even regularly buy the weekly food shop. I am also a non-driver.

Perhaps bizarrely, I have spent my whole life wishing for all of these things and this year we will finally be taking steps towards them. Despite how much I want a house and a car and children, the thought of actually getting any of them is terrifying. Actually walking into an estate agent, sending off for a provisional license or enquiring about adoption are the hurdles I will need to cross.

I can't begin these goals just yet though as my boyfriend is still doing his PhD. I suspect we will know by July where we will be living and then I can begin.

Become a Runner

Since getting asthma at the age of 7, I have always been incredibly bad at anything physical. Running, in particular, became a fear as it often led to wheezing and feeling like I was going to die. On numerous occasions I was made to run at school and ended up nearly vomiting from coughing. Consequently, I came to the conclusion that I would never be a runner.

Who would have thought that getting lung disease would turn things around? At the age of 18 I got very ill. I spent my entire 3 years of uni exhausted, with a high temperature and coughing up foul liquid. At 21 I was diagnosed with Bronchiectasis and began treatment. There's no cure but people have been known to get it under control to the point where they can lead a normal life. One suggestion from a specialist was to take up running. He could have suggested eating live mice and I probably would have had a better reaction. I was convinced that I could not run, but it turns out there's a way.

So, in 2007 I went outside at about 6am so as not to be seen and I ran for about 10 seconds before I stopped, gasping, coughing and spluttering. A month later and I could run for a minute at a time. I slowly improved but then I got a chest infection, which took me right back to the start. That's basically what has happened since. I get better and better and then I get ill. Or I get injured. Or I get lazy.

I can't do anything about the chest infections. If I get ill, I get ill. But I can do something about the other injuries and the mental barriers. In becoming "a runner" my goal is to learn to listen to my body so that I don't overdo it and to accept my limitations so that I can enjoy myself. When I have set-backs I want to pick myself back up straight away and continue. And eventually, my ultimate goals are to run races. Initially a 5k and then later a 10k.

Do Things That Scare Me

I am a very anxious person. I'm not afraid of the dark, or heights, or water, or spiders, or rollercoasters. But my heart races when I have to go clothes shopping. And I haven't been to a dentist in 7 years. And I have to psyche myself up to phone somebody. It's annoying and I know that no matter how often I force myself to do things, they don't get any less stressful. But my goal is to accept that they are scary and still do them.

Here are some things that I aim to do this decade:

Register with a dentist as soon as I know where I'm going to be living,
Try a new food at least once a month,
Travel abroad,
If I see a gig I want to go to, buy tickets and worry later.

I don't want to fill my life with anxiety-inducing things but I know I can cope with occasional bursts of terror and some of those scary things will bring me pleasure. I refused to eat risotto for years because it looked mushy and now it is my favourite food.

Strive to Learn

This is the goal I am most looking forward to as learning is my favourite thing. By having it as a goal, it means I won't sit on my laurels, waiting for things to come to me. Here are some things I want to do:

Complete the task of reading the top 100 modern novels (at least one book a month),
Learn how to ride a bike,
Read at least one non-fiction book a month, and pick books I wouldn't normally look at,
Learn woodwork (join a class),
Learn DIY (when I get my house),
Get a sewing machine and learn how to make things,
Try to watch TV programmes that I wouldn't normally watch.

The practical things are the things I am most looking forward to as I am spectacularly bad at them. At school I was very good at the academic subjects but atrociously bad at making things. A goal I have held for a long time has been to be a Jack of all Trades. I want to be quite good at lots of things.

Cheerio! Amy. xxx